I have started 3 of my 4 kids programs at the community center. It's pretty neat, and the kids are completely awesome in their innocence. All they want to do is play and play and play. I am required to structure two of my programs, and I'm kind of disappointed that they haven't been received well. Some kids are two shy to step out of their shell, while others are too rambunctious to cooperate. My programs go until April, giving me ample time to figure shit out. I am meeting a ton of new people, which is nice.
I sometimes see people as potential cogs in my machine. Maybe they have opportunities for me. Maybe they know people. I think that meeting 100 new people in a month is going to do wonders for me.
I had a 'what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-with-your-life?' moment last week. It hit me at 1am last friday night when I was drunk and maybe high, and it kind of wrecked my night. I like running around with the boys sometimes, doing guys stuff. I asked myself the same question the next morning as I hunted around for the tylenol. I came to the conclusion that I don't really care what I'm doing with my life right now. It doesn't bother me that I'm not saving for a mortgage. It doesn't bother me that I'm not doing things that are life-productive. I'm not exactly being counter productive, I just like to spin my wheels sometimes.
I remember last september really well. I was living out the last of the small summer fortune I had made, and I was kind of puttering around on fumes for a few months until I finally got my shit together late October. I am super stoked to not be in that position this year. God damn. I am busy, I am banking, and I am not puttering. I'm really excited about 25 being a good year. 24 was more or less forgettable for me, with a few exceptions. It doesn't really matter why. But I'm optimistic about 25.
Thanks for reading.
'I've been now sauntering
Out and down the path sometime
Come on, it takes me nowhere, which I knew'
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