The New

Last day of the year.

I think this year has taken me more places than any other year. More in the sense of accomplishments, decisions, experiences, and the wider scope of things. I got sicker than I ever have been, accomplished something larger than anything before, took chances that I wouldn't have taken before, and thus learned a lot about myself in the process. I sort of want to wrap everything together.

That being said, I started to put together a month-by-month like I did last year, and I'm not happy with it. About half the months of this year were really exciting, new, and totally worth writing about. The other half were ridiculously bad, and I don't feel like revisiting them. So how about this. I will revisit the resolutions I made a year ago, and try to make some new ones.

2008 Resolutions:

Graduate with my B.A. - I did this. I'm really happy this got done.

Train and run the Vancouver Marathon - That didn't work out. Poor planning, school etc.

Spend more time with family and friends - I can say that yes, I spent more time. But not enough time that I was happy about it.

Make a career decision, even if a short-term one - Sitting here now, I would say that I didn't follow through with this.

Write more - Obviously

Play poker less - I followed though with this resolution. But I'm playing as I write this.

Maybe I'll post resolutions next year. I have a few, but I need to think a little more.

Thanks for reading, even if it's been only once in the last year.

'I've said what I said and you know what I mean'

Keep Talking

Yawn.

I had a really good christmas. Family was nice to see, blah blah blah. I got spoiled, and I enjoyed giving people some nice things, blah blah blah. I don't want to seem jaded, because I feel truly lucky to have the family and friends that I do. I'm just trying to hurry this paragraph along because I feel it needs to be addressed, but it's not what I want to talk about. Christmas - good; Mike - fortunate.

I made a mistake today by reading the newspaper. I reread the editorial pages a few times just so I could be sure I was getting the right message. I rarely read the newspaper, so maybe it isn't abnormal for these opinions to be published regularly. I cannot believe that people are so unable to produce regular, semi-insightful thought in a public forum. If I decide to write to the newspaper, I make sure that I have an argument, and I definitely make sure my head isn't up my ass when I formulate my argument.

I read page after page of just horrible opinions, each of which had no backbone, argument, or any sort of insightful analysis. Is this standard? FTR, I don't consider opinion that differs from my own as empty or poor. I just see retards everywhere.

Editorial #1
- Deer are rampant in the summer, and now starving because of the weather.
- Dead deer imagery
- I'm feeding 1 deer to keep it alive
- I now have 10 deer in my back yard, and when I stop feeding them, they're going to starve
- Why is this? What can I do? I can't let animals die...

Seriously, is this standard thought and insight from people? I'm going cry if it is.

It went on like that. There was someone who felt downtown businesses should be compensated in some way because they lost business due to the weather. Another person blamed the lack of road service by the city on karma. He said that if we (Nanaimo as a whole) didn't elect such stupid counsellors, we would have cleaner streets. "Bet you'll vote next time hippie".

Gah. This doesn't feel like I'm out of line. Sometimes I write on questionable things, and I really feel like it's just another case of Mike being blind to the reality of intelligence around here. It's not very high.

Oh my god. One more thing. I read this in the newspaper as well. It was a little advert for a local service for people, in between Al-anon and Overeaters anonymous. Seriously. It's called 'Compassion Fatigue', and people meet once a week to discuss their fatigue of caring so god damned much. Really? Is that real?

* * * * * *

I really enjoy the time around christmas and new years. I have a number of things planned, including becoming an uncle. Should be a good week. All the best to you and yours. And to be clear, I'm not pissed or angry about what I read, or what that leads me to think. I'm just a little astonished. I feel for people who aren't in good spirits this time of year.

'Breathe, breathe in the air'

Half Right

It's almost been a week since I posted last. It's nice to be back.

I obviously anticipated this last week as being a really busy week, but it got crazy a few times.

I spent most of last week working in Victoria with Jeff. We were really stressed for a big job, and there were six of us (plus Jeff's puppy) that bombed down in Jeff's truck. We got stuck in Vic and couldn't return home because of the weather. We were going to find somewhere to stay, but the truck broke down in the Condo parking lot that we were working at. Excellent. So Jeff trudged to Wallmart and picked up 6 sleeping bags and pillows, and we crashed in a unit we were working on. That made for a really odd week. It just threw a hitch into everything. We eventually got the truck figured out, the snow cleared, and when Friday afternoon rolled around I was ready. For a beer, a nap, a snowball fight, etc. I made it all happen.

This weekend was all about hanging out and getting ready for Christmas. With a little more wrapping to do, I'm just about all done.

I'm excited for the next week or so. I'll be spending Christmas with my family, and I have a few plans to relax with friends after that. I think I probably like this time of year more than most people. Does that make sense? I'm not really a guy who spends a lot of time with people, but for some reason I enjoy company around this time. Maybe it's because I'm so used to being on Christmas break.

Anyway, I really hope you get into the holidays like I do. Just being happy to have good company, and good food, is good enough for me. Everything on top is just gravy.

'Good eye, sniper'

This Year's Love

Here is a list of my favorite albums that were released in 2008. I was going to make a top ten, but I couldn't find ten that were significant to me. So it's more of a top 6.

#6
Kanye West - 808's and Heartbreak
◦ Favorite track: Street Lights
◦ Why it's #6: I love Kanye, but I haven't listened to this enough to put it any higher. I didn't really like his last album as much as his first two, and I was really happy that he came back with this.

#5
Kings Of Leon - Only By The Night
◦ Rationale: I think that this was my favorite album for a big part of the year, but it was overplayed and lost it's staying power in my opinion. I showed a couple cool songs to friends, and for over two months I couldn't come home without hearing one of them.
◦ Reminds me of: Driving home from Duncan; Dana
◦ Eventual favorite track: Use Somebody

#4
John Mayer - Where The Light Is
◦ Best example of a crowd losing their mind: intro for Daughters
◦ Favorite track: Belief
◦ Sickest Intro: Belief
◦ Line of the Album: 'Let me first say, how wonderful it feels to know that it's 2007 and we just launched into a slow blues and 7,000 people in L.A. went nuts. All is not lost.'
◦ Reminds me of: Walking to school in the spring

#3
MGMT - Oracular Spectacular
◦ Album reminds me of: The sea to sky highway; my kitchen with dinner on
◦ Times I changed my favorite song on album: 4
◦ Final answer: Kids
◦ Rational for #3: I guess this is one of those albums that immediately stuck out because it sounded so weird. After a while it started to grow on me. Then I just couldn't turn it off.

#2
Death Cab For Cutie - Narrow Stairs
◦ Opinion of 4.5 minute bass intro: Strong to very strong
◦ Favorite track: Grapevine Fires
◦ Reminds me of: Driving back and forth from Edmonton to Fort Mackay
◦ One of the coolest sounding intro's: Cath...

#1
People In Planes - Beyond The Horizon
◦ Reminds me of: Cold walks to work; warm bus rides to work
◦ Rational for being my favorite album: --> click here
◦ Favorite track: Evil With You
◦ Track you can't live without hearing: I think there's six of them

'We talked about nothing, which was more than I wanted you to know'

You Know What

Normally when I make the walk home from downtown, at 2am on a saturday, it's under different circumstances.

I was at work tonight until pretty late, and I'm ready to hit the pillow pretty quick here. While it was long, I had a pretty fun time working.

Walking down my street was really breathtaking. It was snowing in the streetlights, and the street had untouched snow covering it. The trees are pretty cool as it is, and the view was really neat. I just walked right down the middle.

It's kind of a strange weekend. I reintroduced myself to vodka last night with JC. I probably haven't drank that much vodka in at least a few years. It yielded some pretty interesting results. I'd love to tell you all about it: some other time maybe.

What else is strange? My house is empty and cold, at a particular time where I'd really enjoy company and warmth. I'll make up for it tomorrow. Bona fide movie day baby.

'You know what, you know what, you know what, you know what,...'

Bad Company

Master of your own domain. Be the master of your domain. I see people doing that a lot. At work, at home, out with friends, out shopping, etc. It seems to me like this is something some people consider the ‘be all’. “I work at The Gap, but I’m shift supervisor, and I’m the fucking man”. Now two things come hand in hand with being the master of your own domain. According to Mike. Pride, and ego.

Now, I have a major problem with people who pull the ego trip because they’re the master of their own domain. You know these people. These people sneer at you because you’re new at The Gap. There is an air about these people, because they think they’re better than you. And you hear lines like this around these people: “I’ve been working my way up for years”; or “I’m actually the junior assistant captain, so don’t do anything until you run it past me.” Hahahaha.

I guess I’ve been rubbed the wrong way by too many of these people. In my opinion, they just don’t have a good comprehension of the larger picture. I was going to say that these people are stupid, and have IQ’s that would qualify them for, never mind, but name calling devalues my argument. I think that a better understanding of the larger picture would allow someone to realize that being a big fish in a little bowl still puts you in a little bowl. This seems like the antithesis of ambition.

If you’re thinking that I must have had an episode with someone that sparked this rant, I didn’t. It’s far too common to try to isolate one incident.

A counter argument would be that for some people, this is the end of the line. Another might be that being a master of your own small bowl of a life is better than ass-kissing in the bigtime. Let me be straight on this. If you’re the master of your domain, you don’t bug me. If you’re outwardly proud of it, that’s cool. I have a lot of small time bullshit that makes me proud, and I know that it’s the end of the line for me with it. But to be egotistical to the point where you’re blind to the insignificance of yourself, that strikes me as silly.

I bet I know where this rant is coming from. I bet it’s because deep down I’m afraid that I’ll never get good enough at something significant. Maybe my fate is as a small bowler, or an asskisser in a big bowl. But whether I’m doomed to be a great white in the Vancouver aquarium, or fish food in the pacific, people that pull that ‘master of your domain’ ego are still going into my book o’ retards. I mean, they won’t earn my respect.

Mmm, that felt nice to get off my chest.

'That's why they call me
Bad company'

Keep Yourself Alive

Read Apt Pupil.

I was talking about books today, and I got to thinking, which piece of literature has shaped/influenced me the most? I haven't read nearly the literature that I should have, but Apt Pupil is at the top, regardless of how short the list is.

Apt Pupil taught me to understand the darker side of myself better. I guess I have a fuller, more appropriate understanding of myself after reading it. It's a dark (not scary) tale about coming to age, realizing yourself, and manipulating the dark microcosm's within yourself.

Don't watch the movie. I would score the written version a 10, and the movie doesn't even rank a 1. The last line of the story is the best, and the movie rips out the last 40 pages. I would say that the theme of the film is 'Nazi's = Bad'. The theme of the written version is probably more along the lines of 'people are strange'. It goes just a little deeper than the film.

Apt Pupil isn't an entire novel, it's a novella inside a collection called Different Seasons, by Stephen King. Buy it, or borrow it from me. But you have to read this.

I would love to give a synopsis that is meaningful to someone who might be interested in reading it, but I can't. If I graze the surface, it won't sound like it's worth reading, and if I give you too much...

It's not even 200 pages. You can read by Jan 1st with ease. And it'll probably show you something about yourself, like it did for me.

'I'm counting the cars on the freeway below'

Speak To Me

Yup. Day off.

It was nice to catch up on a lot of different nit-picky things that needed doing.

I had to laugh. Get this. I was playing music tonight with the boys. We decided to end early because Landon and Jer have an exam to study for. We decided that our last song was going to be this slow song without drums. It wound up being a little too emotional to end on. So we poured ourselves a glass of wine each, and hung out a while until the feeling passed. Now we aren't as sad. I'm still laughing about it.

I'm enjoying bartending at work. I've always wanted to try it, and I'm really glad I didn't need to fork over the 700+ dollars to take the course.

Anyway. December is going nice so far. Work doesn't feel like work, play is different, and I have new friends all over the place. Not all new, but new emphasis on old friends. And I have lots of new friends at work. Life in general is much different than it was in November. I gave myself an ultimatum on October 1st that I needed to get my shit together by November 1st. November rolled around and I found myself giving myself the same ultimatum. Oops. Well that's somewhat settled, and I'm a little happier now.

Good luck to the boys on their exams.

'Time to kill today'

Set Yourself On Fire

Yawn. I'm ready for the weekend.

That might be closer to the truth than I want. I'm planning on working tomorrow (and tuesday obviously), but it might not happen. I guess a few days off might not be bad, but I've got good momentum, and want to keep banking.

More later.

'Bartender please'

Life In Technicolor

I went swimming last night.

Oh god I love swimming. You should read an older post, Everyday, to get a better understanding of how much I love the pool.

We played some music last night, and I'm really starting to enjoy our new tracks. We're going heavier and faster, and I think that's a good direction. I think we can find a lot more success if we play harder and faster. The three of us are fairly technical players, and playing harder/faster last night didn't seem to shake any technique.

I don't really have anything else interesting of note to say about yesterday.

Work for one job is slowing down, while work for another is speeding up. Keeping balanced is good. I'm now paying a little more each month to get by. Student loans repayment has started, and it's costing me 40% more than I pay for rent. So my total monthly expenses just went up almost 100%. Time to work.

In december I tend to review what my year looked like. I like compiling lists of stats, and I'm really psyched to do that in a few weeks. How weird does that sound? But really, I'll be taking out a calculator and figuring out how much music I listened to this year, and comparing it to last year. That's my nerdy side.

Why do albums and DVD's get released on Tuesdays?

'If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm really just asking to leave'

Cookie Jar

Do you have good or bad (or no) memories associated with cookie jars? I guess a good memory would be about the good cookies, whereas a bad memory would be getting busted with your hand in the cookie jar. Or maybe there was no cookie jar to create a memory.

That had nothing to do with anything.

Landon bought me truffles today. What a guy. Apparently he's getting into christmas mode pronto, because he bought truffles, and put on frank sonatra carols. Haha. I did feel warm and fuzzy for a second there, then we all kinda snapped out of it and walked away.

A year ago I posted an entry (viginti tres). I told myself that in a year I'd post and come clean about how it was all a lie. So there it is. It's off my chest and I feel much better now. Instead of that entry, I should have written the following: "It snowed. I stayed home."

Pretty typical week this week. I work now until saturday. Nothing fun planned. Maybe play music some night with the boyz. How goddamn boring am I?

After only a few nights with Landon living here, it's already much different around here. I'm obviously going to jump right into slamming my old roommate and proclaiming how great fresh faces are. Nope. But Landon's buddy is spending a week here in mid december, and we're gonna make a good time out of it. Normally Landon goes back to Rupert for the break, but he's here this year. Because of me. Lol.

OH. I'm not going to NIN this friday! Go Mike.

'Falling farther from just what we are
Smoke a cigarette and lie some more'

Decode.

December! My favorite cold month of the year. Unless you consider Edmonton, in which case I like July better.

Hung out with 3 of my close buddies tonight. I guess I could say there's 8 of us guys in a pretty tight knit crew. JC, Saul, Jer, Landon, Court, Lunch, Case, and me. Aside from Landon, we've all hung out since 2000 or before. Anyway, tonight Court, Case, Landon and I made a big seafood dinner up and watched a really bad zombie movie. Lol. Zombie Strippers. It was not good at all. But we had a good laugh.

Saul has officially moved out, and Landon is all in. It's going to be different not living with saul after 4 years. Definitely the end of an era.

I heard a pile of flack about an entry I wrote a few days ago. Which upon investigating my writing style, forces me to now write entries which may be appropriate, but restrict my creative flow. Which may seem like peanuts, but writing does something for me, and writing like that doesn't. So I have a new blog. I'll continue to write 'appropriately' in InStasis, but I'm going to write whatever I want in my other one. Just to satisfy the end that I get from writing freely. Don't tell me not to write sensitive info online, because it isn't public. It was either do that, or make InStasis private, and continue to write the way I want.

I'm looking forward to December, but not looking forward to Tuesday.

OH. I'm going to NIN on Friday! Go Mike.

'Another clever word
sets off an unsuspecting herd'

Stay And Play

Ok so I can't not tell you about this album. It's my favorite new album of the year, by a country mile. I'm gonna say final answer too, without even consulting whatever music I might find in the next month.

The band is People in Planes, and the album is Beyond the Horizon. Definitely a rock sound, although it's tough to compare them.

I'm just going to take some time to give you my analysis of this album. Find it somewhere and start downloading it in the meantime.

What I look for in the overall sound of an album is either a unified sound, or something that satisfies my entire palate. An example of the former would definitely be Autumn of the Seraphs by Pinback, which was my favorite album last year. It was a unified, almost weird sound. Beyond the Horizon is the latter. It goes all over the place, and every which way treats me nice.

There is a song that is piano driven rock, and another that has an amazing intro on strings. There's a typical sounding radio single, although I find that a weaker song on the album. There's bass-heavy songs, and songs with both awesome electric guitar riffs and acoustic guitar. The vocals and percussion are also really strong in my opinion.

It's hard for me to find a favorite song. I heard 'Last Man Standing' on the radio, and was mesmerized by the solo at 2:50. From there I found 'Vampire', 'Evil With You', 'Flesh and Blood', and 'Get On The Flaw'. Oh man. Every song is real different, but so good. Seriously one of the best albums I've ever heard.

Another thing I really like about good albums is layers. For face value, background noise, whatever - these guys are a solid rock band with trendy sounding songs. When you really listen, these guys get really good. The instrumentation and lyrics are rad.

So go get them.

'I don't want to get lost
I don't want to be found'

Street Lights

First shift tonight. By the way, I'm now working at the 'VICC', or van isle conference center, as a banquet attendant. I'm chalking it up as "supplemental December income". It's just an evening/weekend thing.

So I go in to work, not knowing really what's up, just knowing that there's a couple big parties going on. I immediately get a package of HR stuff, and am promised a tour "later on". Riiight. Yeah it never came. Oh well.

I was assigned as a bartender in the lobby in between the two parties, one of 180, and the other of 75 people. Now I'm at a strange place. First, I've never bartended before. So I felt like setting my supervisor straight, just so I wouldn't be in an awkward position. The flip side is, is that I really felt like trying bartending out. So I just went with it. So I got my booze and headed to my bar. First things first, I couldn't figure out how to get behind the goddamn bar. Classic foreshadowing. I was half set up (because I was so slow figuring shit out), when I got absolutely slammed by an insta-line of 30-40 people. And there's just me. First guy - beer. Second guy - beer. Hey I got this.

Anyway, I had a great time, and I did so well that I'll be on the bar from now on. Go figure.

I'm supposed to work tomorrow with Jeff, but I'd love to have the day off. We'll see how she goes.

'Lost and loaded'

Pure Morning

Wow.

It was an ugly, ugly morning. Nah, I shouldn't say that. I felt like I had an ugly, ugly morning.

Last night was a pretty good time. Everyone drank a little too much this time though, and there were a few questionable points of mention. But before that, everyone (for the most part) had a really good time, and there were no fights or drama. A friend got uncharacteristically drunk and sick, and I had to hold his head up for a while. When we got up today, he was still feeling really nauseous. There was a scene outside my house in the rain at like noon when he was struggling, and all our close friends were sort of huddled around waiting for the next thing to happen. We all feel for the guy.

That was one story. And we forgive him for making a mess of our house and stuff, because that just isn't like him at all. The other story doesn't involve so much forgiveness. Another friend got really drunk, and acted too aggressively around some people who didn't know him well. Lecturing ensued, followed by insults and yelling, followed by him throwing his drink onto a girl. Or something like that. I didn't see. Two points I just want to make. First, that while the girls didn't know him or his demeanor, there was a level of instigation on their part that can't be ignored. You don't know the guy, he's really drunk --> walk away. Second, and more importantly obviously, is that he needs to learn to act appropriately. He's been drunk and angry/aggressive way too often for his actions to be acceptable. Figure it out bud.

I'm going to go mop up again. Then off to work. Enjoy your Saturday.

'Still, you don't expect to be bright and bon vivant'

Edit: it's now anonymous...

Get On The Flaw

Party night wooooo.

Yeah we're having a shaker tonight. We usually do 2-3 a year, and this'll be it for a while I think. I'm ready for wet feet, picky listeners, ex girlfriends, a dirty morning, and all that good. I'm also ready for drinks, music, friends, and all that bad.

I've been really unhappy with the amount of good music I've gotten this year. I've really found nobody new that wasn't already a hit somewhere else (like death cab). I used to like finding my own new stuff, and I'd gotten away from that. So I got back to scouring the back ranks online for no-namers, long-forgottens, and never-heard-ofs. What I found was a pile of great songs, and a few really great artists.

Work sucked today, and my legs are unusually sore. That's my bitch sess.

What else, I gave you my day, my night, and my music scene. What's up this weekend doesn't really matter. So there it is. If you come tonight, behave your goddamn self. Haha. If you aren't coming, I guess you can just behave yourself if you want to.

Lata.

'Who is the fly in your champagne?'

Booksmart Devil

Ahh yes. The week is winding down. One more week for the ed kiddies before they are done and graduating. I went to school with most of them, and am pretty excited for their hard work to start paying off.

As for me, the week has been going pretty well. I worked mon-wed, and had today off. I'll work tomorrow and saturday. Tomorrow night is our party, and today is saul's birthday. Today and tomorrow will basically be his last hoo hurrah before it's europe and beyond. Saul will move most of his stuff out on sunday, and monday Landon moves in.

Other than that, not much is going on.

I'm looking really forward to a good december. October and November were pretty ho hum, and I'm excited to get back to good times.

So let's get to it.

Thanks for reading. Hope you have a good weekend.

'We are the monsters'

Hands On Fire

On a sunday...

Oh boy. I've learned to write from the hip I guess, and I just write whatever I think without censoring. I finish each entry, and go back and vet out the content I deem inappropriate, trivial, or maybe stupid.

Anyway, maybe that was a disclaimer for this entry. I don't really know yet.

I'm in my room listening to some really slow Matt Good, and waiting for Silversun Pickups and The Stills to download. 'Hospital Music' has been on repeat most of this week. 'Black Helicopter' and 'Champions of Nothing' have been my soundtrack when I wake up. I spent more than a few days contemplating my life this week. Now that you know what has been penetrating my ears on itunes, I'll try to explain what's between them.

I fill up my days with numbers and statistics, and at night I seem to watch the ceiling for eternity. I'm not sure what it all means.

"When you're at the top there's nowhere left to go but down. That's been said in a million country songs. It's true. For when you are at the top you aspire to attain that which cannot be attained. And in doing so achieve the ruin of all that you have built."

That's tough for me to understand, and I don't find it well written. But I used it for the last line. I feel like I'm starting to achieve the ruin of all that I've built.

This is important to me. I feel like I need to go somewhere from here, that I'm going nowhere, and that there's no way to know where I'm going from here. I've realized something very important, maybe the most important lesson of my life. I'm searching for it. It is where I'm going, what I want to achieve right now. It is the answer to my unhappiness. I've been waiting (hoping?) for it to find me. Smack me in the face on some random thursday, and I would drop my life and go get it. The longer I wait, the more I realize that this is a myth. It is not going to find me, I have to find it.

At the same time I find this realization, I can't help but feel like my feet are stuck in cement, and I can't move. I swear that I leave my body sometimes and look at myself, and find it pretty humourous. I get a certain feeling of self hate. All the time.

Anyways, the point is, is that I'm beginning to become unstuck. I'm determined to become more goal oriented, change my life into something I can feel happy about, and stay away from drying cement. I'm not hanging around for long. This town constricts me like a python. I feel the need to leave and start somewhere else, and I've probably thought that way a long time. I have loose goals that need to be focused a little bit.

My plan for this week, on top of work (stagnation), is to make three goals. One goal for my professional, short term life. One goal for discovering the "if not here, then where?" question. And one goal for my short term personal life.

Ok. Have a good week. Thanks for reading.

'Even the planless have a plan'

Blood, Sex And Booze

Oh no. Not two nights in a row?

Yes, BWD again. Blogging while drunk.

I had a really fun time with jeff and co. tonight. I know it was two nights in a row, and usually I don't do that, but I guess these are unusual circumstances. I went to see some fight tournament thing tonight in cedar with Jeff and a few randoms. There were 5 of us, and 4 of us were drinking. Jeff did quick math, and discovered that 4 mickey's of fireball would be sufficient. Oh no. Not fireball. First off, that shit is gross. Secondly, yes I'll drink an entire mickey. Eeeewww.

We left the fight thing in a good mood (except everyone gets rowdy and aggressive from fights, including Jeff), and headed downtown. We spent the remainder of the night downtown, with jeff buying me and the girls drinks, trying to impress them. Oh boy.

Because he was driving himself and the girls home, I felt it necessary to walk my own ass home from downtown. The time spent walking afforded me time to think of valid excuses to give my roommates when I would eventually stumble in drunk. To my luck (and supreme shock), I walked in the front door of my house as the soberest person. Minor victory again! Of course, drunk roommates want to do nothing but mix more drinks. Go Mike!

I really shouldn't be blogging about all this, but as someone intoxicated, I don't give a fuck. Hear about my night. Or don't read this.

Next entry will be better. Really.

And I reapeat,

'When the lights come on this whole place gets ugly'

What You Get

I just spent an hour updating my profile's random question, only to find out that it has a 400 character max. Which is good I guess, it restricts how nerdy I can come off as.

I'm really happy it's the weekend. I'm gonna go shopping for myself soon. I haven't spent money on myself since I splurged for a 40$ pair of shoes in August. I'm due. And I also think it's time to buy a suit. Which is kind of exciting.

Quickly, I have a beef with my roommate. It's really trivial, and I'm obviously not trying to stir a pot two weeks before he leaves. But omg, way to try and preserve your image, and do the exact opposite. He gets this online page going for his birthday party, and various people attach pic's, notes, etc. from previous parties. So I post a slideshow video of party pics from back in the day. Aside: this is really minor stuff folks, I'm just using an example to show his insecurities. Anyway, saul calls me up to to tell me that he removed the video, because the background music was too depressing.

Haha. I'm not even offended. I find it hilarious that someone would do or say something like that. He removed it to save his image, because he thinks people will judge him based on a song. Awesome. You lose.

Anyway, just wanted to share that.

'When the lights come on this whole place gets ugly'

Sleep Now In The Fire

Is it only midnight?

Wow, I've had a night/week. I'll work my way back.

Night
Minor victory for mike, seeing as its friday, and not many friday's come when mike has worked his ass off all week. So we decided to drink. By we I mean Jeff, JC and I, and by drink I mean in excess. So we went bowling with some randoms, then ditched them for food, and went to the foundry, and then the queens. Bowling was great (except I suck), the foundry was mediocre, and the queens was shitty (JC got sick and we left after being there five mins).

So here I am, off to a great evening with friends and (too much?) alcohol, and here I sit, home too early, and not really satisfied about it.

Week
Oh man I worked hard this week. I really tried to keep busy and work as much as I could. I worked with a different flooring crew at a different location almost every day, but I managed to settle pretty well and just put my head down and work. It really paid off. I feel sore but great.

**********

On a side note, but still on the topic of work, me and my work buds have a running competition about subway subs of the day. We argue about what the current sub of the day is each day, and eventually settle the bet by going for lunch. The beauty of it is, is that my coworkers are retards and have no memory. Haha. That being said, I'm going to attempt to rattle off the order. Feel free to call me on anything. Monday; turkey boob. Tuesday; italian BMT. Wednesday; turkey boob and ham. Thursday; Hammer. Friday; Tuna (yeah, no). Saturday and sunday I don't remember because I don't go there then, but I think it's something about pizza and meatball.

In my drunken, yet sobering up stupor, I'm wondering why I wrote that. Sober enough to criticize myself, drunk enough to ramble, yet not drunk enough to crave an actual sub. Lol.
**********

I've got a few non-work things going on this week that have been sort of filling the blanks of the time I can spare. My dad has taken a turn in the wrong direction, and is beginning to have hormone/regulation problems. He is starting his thyroid treatment next next week. A friend of mine was admitted to the hospital this week, and I visited her on Tuesday. She was happy to see me, and I'll probably go see her again during the next 7 weeks of her 'incarceration'. Finally, on a decent note, I'm following the canucks a bunch lately thanks to my crazy hockey fan friends. They're doing well. I shouldn't pretend I don't like it.

So this weekend. Tonight I'm going to sleep. For a lifetime. I've cut hours all week, and tonight I make it up. Tomorrow becomes an auto-write-off. Sunday is Grey Cup, and we'll see where that takes me. To food at my parent's house I hope...

Talk to ya soon.

'There's something in your "too cool for school"
When you......'

AFK

Tyler Phillips.

This guy has been in my dreams a bunch lately. So I'll tell you the story about him. It's not how my dream goes, it's a little different. I guess dreams go like that. Anyway.

I was 15. I was trying out for a 16-18 year-old premier baseball team in parksville that summer. It was the most elite high school team around.

I guess I was one of the best 15 year old ball players in town, but it was a small town. Players on this team came from all over the island, and even from Powell Riv. There were a few other 15-year-old's trying out along with me. We were all turning 16 later that year, so we were eligible to play, if we made the team. Tyler was one of those guys. #36. He came from Courtnay three times a week to try out.

From the get go, I sucked really bad. I could no longer hit a ball, because they were coming at me 20 miles an hour faster. I could no longer catch a ball, because guys could hit them a mile over my head. The only thing I had was raw speed, and that would definitely not get me a spot on the team. I learned quickly to associate myself with good players, hang out with them, warm up with them, etc. I thought it would put me in better company. Because the older guys were typically snobby, I hung out with Tyler, because he was almost guaranteed a spot. He could pitch really well, and was impressing all the coaches. Yes, coaches. Normally a team has 1. This one had a manager, coach, hitting coach, pitching coach, and infield coach. Sick.

Anyway.

Tyler dies one day at practice.

I had survived the first few cuts, and I think we were down to 25 guys, keeping 18. We had played a few exhibition games, mostly against victoria and nanaimo. We were practicing pretty hectically. One day we were doing our standard at practice: I was hitting wiffle balls with the rest of the non pitchers, and the pitchers were all throwing in the pen.

All of a sudden, Tyler collapses. I didn't really seem him go down, but I was close enough. My dad was around, like he always was at the ballpark. He didn't coach that team, but he knew the coaches well, and helped out a little. He was the only guy that had first aid, so he got into the middle of things.

At first, we assumed it was heat stroke. There was really few things that could have happened. He didn't faint, because he didn't regain consciousness right away. Hmm. We were all standing around sort of waiting for him to awaken. Someone ran to call an ambulance I guess, because no one had cell phones in their pocket in 2000. Everyone still had their cells off in their car.

I guess someone realized that Tyler wasn't breathing, and my dad started doing CPR. I was probably in a trance, because I remember watching a lot happen, I don't remember doing a lot. As the ambulance showed up and took him to the hospital, we had long ruled out heat stroke, and were thinking heart attack or something.

He never regained consciousness. Later the team was told that Tyler had an aneurysm.

So neither of us made the team that year.

I didn't try out again for that team. A team from courtnay, in a lower division but nonetheless elite, approached me to play. I declined in a hurry. My dad took an entire month to convince me, and eventually I would make the trip to courtnay three times a week to practice and play. Well, I should just say practice. The balls were 10mph slower than in parksville, but still 10mph faster than what I could hit. So I didn't hit, and I definitely didn't play.

If you go by that park today, there hangs a #36 on the center field wall.

'And I dreamed I was dying'

Black Black Heart

I had completely forgotten about that song by David Usher. Wow. Now I remember.

I've had a fairly brutal couple of days. I don't want to dwell, but I feel the need to paraphrase. Jen and I are no longer together, after being together a long time. I've been dealing with the change in a positive manner. Other than that, there's not much I want to write about the breakup. I'm just in a major life transition period right now.

I've been keeping really busy in the last few days, which has been good. The best part of my days have been my pillow though. I've worn myself out during the days so much that sleep is really nice, and yet so unfulfilling in the morning.

Tomorrow is busy. I guess the whole week is. I want to take steps to ensure that the work I'm doing continues to be only temporary. Which means I have to move forward whenever I can with the personal training thing. I've been wearing myself out flooring to the point where I don't really find energy to make phone calls and meet with the people I need to for my PT certification. I'm probably going to start making weekly goals again (like in school), and hopefully that pushes me a little more.

I realized in the grocery store today, I'm a really straightforward and cliched shopper. I get the same food every time. I felt like going a little crazy, so I got a big carton of chocolate milk. Haha. That sounds really lame, and it might be even lamer than I'm really stoked about it. I have fond memories of walking to school and having the same breakfast of a bran muffin and a choco milk almost every day.

The next few weeks should be eventful, and I'll try to post as much as I can. Along with tons of work, I also have tons of social stuff to cast aside or indulge in. I will probably decide on the spot each time something comes up.

Oh yeah! Good music. I've been listening to a lot of it. I get an hour with my ipod every day on the way to work. You should get some good listening time in too.

Have a good week.

'In a new york minute
Things can get pretty strange'

Thoughts Of A Dying Atheist

Yeah I really haven't felt like posting in the last week or so.

It's been a hectic, abnormal week that I really want to put behind me. So I don't think I'll write anything about it. Right now. I'd rather look ahead anyway.

I got paid today. WOW. It's been just over 3 months since I got paid last. So let's just say that the money is probably not going to last very... wait... yup, I've already spent it all. Kidding, but when the goddamn bank clears the bitch, it'll be all gone pronto.

Going to see the new James Bond tonight. Not even because I'm excited to see it. It's a social outing with boys, so I decided to go.

Tomorrow, work. It feels really good to work hard and accomplish something that most people can't. I'm starting to gain finesse with my flooring technique. Not that I'm looking to work my way up or anything.

I got my Fitness Theory exam back last night. 92%, 80 being a pass. I'm happy with the mark, but happier to be able to move to the next step.

Have a good night.

'I've seen better days, yeah
So says the mirror'

Even Flow

What a day.

I heard a Robin William skit a while back (live on broadway I think), where he talks about the weatherman spinning a wheel, because the weather is so random. I guess it isn't that bad, but I sure like the upswing that we got today.

I thought all day about blogging, because I think I had some sort of rant. Well, it's long gone outta my head.

This is probably going to be an entry with a mish-mash of random thoughts. I can tell because my fingers are typing at max, and I still can't spew fast enough.

I was shockingly captivated by MNF (Monday Night Football for all you non freaks) tonight. I really don't like either team that was playing, yet I was glued, cheering for one team over another, and I was actually kind of bummed out that I didn't get my result.

Can I tell a funny story about trying to fall asleep last night? I can't seem to sleep recently. I sort of figured out that I need to distract myself from thinking, so I can let myself get tired. I had to be up early this morning, so I went to bed at midnight. Spent 30 mins trying to just sleep. Then I got up and spent an hour watching (not playing) online poker, and reading random chess theory. Both of which are major boring shit. Yeah that really didn't put me to sleep at all. So I went back to bed with my ipod, and caught up on some long lost gems. Yeah, then it's 3am, and I'm really not tired.

Funny enough, I woke up at 730 and didn't even hit sn00000ze.

I suppose I could recount other stories with vivid detail about my day, but I think I'm ok.

The rest of the week is sort of unclear still. Jen comes home tomorrow, and I'll pick her up in the afternoon. The rest of my checklist just needs to get done before friday, it's not scheduled though.

I lost a friendly bet (random tangent again). I bet a while back that gas would not fall below a dollar. Boy it was nice to get more liters than the amount I had to pay today. I think saul had predicted .969 or maybe .949. It's going to go farther down I'm assuming as the lower mainland is in the 80's in some places.

Well, have a good week and thanks for reading. Feel free to comment, even just to say that my blog bores the hell out of you.

'I've heard a man in crisis
falls back on what he knows best,
a murderer to murder
a thief to theft
And I don't want you to think
that this is some kind of deathbed confession
but run is what I did when put to the test'

I'm Goin' Home

Yay poker.

I got together with a few friends last night and played some cards. We were waiting a few hours for our fifth to show up, so the four of us played different types of poker while we waited. It was a really fun time. We played chinese poker, guts, jacks or better, badugi, and low mexican. We each had to introduce a new game to the others, and I brought along chinese and badugi.

We settled into the hockey game, and our fifth showed up around 8pm. We played a really long five handed game until 11pm or so when guys started busting. It was only a 10$ buyin, but we were nonetheless serious. I was in last place most of the night, but I rallied and took the whole thing down. I won the 40$ or whatever, and minus pizza fees, I think I cleared around 30$. Haha. Oh well, it's better than coming out a loser, and I had a good time.

That's basically the only thing of note to mention. Jen is off in Clagary for the weekend. That's more of her story than mine. But I have a car for the weekend. Which is nice, although I'm probably going to leave it parked outside for 99% of the time anyway.

The Lions won, the Canucks won, and Luongo is on a streak to put it mildly. I think he gets the record of most shutout minutes midway through the first period of the next game. Also going on, the final table of the world series of poker main event is today after the tourney was paused for 117 days. What else? Umm, not much I guess.

Hope you have a good weekend.

Oh yeah. I guess there is one more thing. I'm a gamer. I got Fable II, which probably wasn't a good idea for Jeremy and my time management. But it's really fun, and a little bit addicting. So don't get it.

'But did you hear me
Scream at the top of my lungs?'

Songs For The Deaf

I've spent a long time on this. I don't mean recently.

For years I've sort of wondered what my top ten favorite songs of all time are. I guess I probably got the idea the first time I heard Santeria. I remember the exact campfire at rathtrevor in grade 10, listening to Sublime, and pondering what other nine songs could be my favorite of all time.

I think I've created the list. I come back to it every so often, and every time I leave it, it feels incomplete. Funny enough, Santeria isn't anywhere close to my top ten anymore. Maybe if I made a top ten songs I loved in high school, that would crack it, along with 311 and various flavours of the week.

So I started with a pile of great songs, and added and removed songs until it didn't feel right to take out any more. I'm left with 10 songs.

I have a tough time classifying one song higher or lower than another, outside of my top 3.

1. Go With The Flow - Queens of the Stone Age
2. Baker Street - Foo Fighters
3. Passive - A Perfect Circle

The Rest

Turn The Page - Metallica
Black - Pearl Jam
The World I Know - Collective Soul
Outside - Staind
Tied My Hands - Seether
Spaceman - Bif Naked
Crescent Moon - Cowboy Junkies

A few of these songs have different versions, and in each case I like one version much more than the other.

I guess this list is open to criticism, but I already know that this doesn't make up anyone else's top ten. I think a major criticism might be that the list lacks breadth. It doesn't span the scope of music that I listen to, and I realize that. I just like this music more than the rest. It doesn't mean I don't like other stuff.

'Don't say it doesn't matter'

Florida

Big day yesterday.

Not for myself, although I did have an eventful, productive day. I mean the election.

Saul and I have been following the election fairly closely for a year or so. We followed the primaries really closely, as well as all the debates. I got to know Obama, McCain, and Clinton pretty well. I was really interested how the whole process would play out yesterday. Obviously I'm not American, and therefore this whole thing doesn't matter as much to me, but I don't mind. I've never really paid too much attention to the election process before, and it was kind of addicting.

That being said, I'm stoked that Obama won. His speech was expected, yet I feel like it'll be regarded as one of the most famous speeches ever. I thought it was well put.

I had hoped Obama would win since I learned about him. I actually didn't put very good odds on him winning. There seemed like too much to overcome. Clinton was a popular, formidable opponent in the primaries, and I figured the candidate would be in tough against the republicans anyway. I watched CNN pretty close last night, and was happy with the outcome.

That's about all that's exciting with me in the last few days (and it isn't even about me). It's warm for November, isn't it?

'We've got everything down to a science, so I guess we know everything'

Elect The Dead

Case of the Mondays?

God I hate that term. So much. Great movie, not a great line.

I went golfing this afternoon with some friends at the Pitch n Putt at Beban. The daylight wound up running out on us at the 16th, but we played the last two in the dark. I actually made my only birdie of the day on 17, so go figure. I was the only guy out of the five of us keeping score, but I was only tracking myself. 1 Bird, 3 pars, 12 bogies, and 2 doubles. So -15 on the day. I was -9 after nine, so I was happy with my out.

Other than that, not too much going on. My loser ass can't find his i.d. and bank card after a forgetful Halloween. Go figure.

I have a few things planned for this week, but nothing really exciting enough to write about.

Other than that, the canucks lost a tight one last night. My bro was at the game with Jodie, and it always sucks to go see a loss. He was over here for the weekend, and we had a really good dinner on Saturday night. My dad made beef tenderloin, and it was ridiculous.

That's basically that. Thanks for reading.

'Best, you've got to be the best
You've got to change the world
And use this chance to be heard
Your time is now'

Pioneer To The Falls

Hooo. Had a night last night. In fact, I had a fairly eventful Friday in general.

I had a job interview yesterday, the second one at Northridge. When I got a second interview, I thought it was fairly evident that I was being seriously considered. I got the feeling yesterday that maybe I shouldn't have put all my eggs into one basket.

The interview went well, but things have changed around there since I was interviewed last. The job posting doesn't start until Jan '09, which was different than the original posting's start date. Oh well, that was my mistake to rely on that. The interview questions were tough. I had to discuss strengths and weaknesses of working out with machines and freeweights, citing examples and deciding on an appropriate way to train someone. I gave correct answers, but I could tell he wanted specifics answers, and I don't know if I covered those.

Last night we got together and drank in our costumes before leaving for the party. We turned the hockey game on, and it was a really crazy game. Multiple lead changes, 12 goals, and 13 rounds of a shootout. It pretty much had it all. Looking back, this was the funnest part of the night. There were 8-10 of us at Grieg's (sp?) house, and luckily it was within a walking distance of Beban.

The party at Beban was alright. It was basically a glorified high school and university reunion. We drank more, lost a few friends, found some new ones, and just cruised around for the few hours that we were there. The drink lineup was 20 mins long, so it didn't take long for drinking to become a chore. Which in hindsight, was probably a good idea anyway. Drinking fairly regularly from 5pm-10pm had taken it's toll on me already, so drinking sparingly between 10pm-1am went well. I was able to score a ride home with Leah, which was awesome of her to stay sober and drive me and Saul.

Moving along.

It's November, and I like October and November more than January and February I think. The build up to the good times in December probably helps this, but there are several things in November that are going to be good as well. Grey Cup is this month, and it's more of a ritual with my family than a really exciting event. It's an excuse, like Superbowl, to get together at my mom and dad's house with friends to socialize and gorge in lots of food. Saul's birthday is at the end of the month, which rarely disappoints. I'm sure there are a few other things going on that I'm misplacing at the moment. Nov. 11th obviously.

Have a good weekend, and thanks for reading.

'While I waited, I was wasting away'

Go Getta

Found a new roommate. Insert staples 'easy button' quote here.

Landon is going to move in December first. Substituting one band member for another. I'm pretty excited for the whole switcheroo. It's going to be a little different around here, but it'll be new and exciting for sure.

I had a 180 towards my attitude on Halloween yesterday. I wasn't going to do anything on the 31st, and most years I don't. There's a few reasons why, but I just don't like Halloween that much. This year, like others, my excuse was that I don't like dressing up or looking for a costume.

Well, I was out at value village yesterday, looking for costumes for Landon, Saul, and Jer. I wound up stumbling across an ensemble that I sort of decided to go with. I think it was the oversize swimmers goggles that were the deciding factor. I'm going to go to a Halloween party after all, as an 80's squash player.

Problem is, I don't really know what that even means. I have a squash racquet, and I know some players wear goggles. So I just filled in the blanks. I bought short shorts, a really small athletic shirt, and a fro to go with my big fuck-off goggles. I have knee high socks, and I'm borrowing high tops. If I'm lucky, I'll run across a head band. I think that about does it.

Anyway, I'm not super amped about tomorrow. It's been a few years since I did Halloween, and I'm going to look baaaad. Luckily my bright spot will be saul. It's a gaurantee that he'll look worse than me, which lends me a little more confidence.

Hope you have a good Halloween. My bro is in town this weekend, and it's going to be great to see him.

'I live my life with no pain
Just some rage and three kinds of yes'

Still Crazy After All These Years

One year down.

I started my blog a year ago yesterday. Reading back to the entries I made last October, I've changed the way I blog quite a bit. I often read back to see what was going on in my life at a certain time. It's kind of neat, and I forget a lot of small things that I had written about.

Anyway, I wrote exactly 150 entries in that first year I had a blog. I had no expectations on how many, or how often I would write. It averages out to one entry every 2-3 days, which I think is fairly dedicated, especially as I was away for a few months. I guess that makes for a benchmark. I like compiling stats in order to create a benchmark to meet/beat. I think it's fairly reasonable to think that I can write 150 more entries next year.

I have these almost rituals that I follow when I write an entry, although ritual sounds too sacred. Mannerisms maybe. I've managed to title each blog entry after a song, and it's either a song that I really like, or a song that pertains to some part of the blog. I haven't named two entries the same, as far as I know. I've had to check a few times, as some song titles just lend themselves to me as really appropriate.

I don't really know why I started leaving quotes at the end of my entries. I think only two entries don't have quotes, and one was just last week. I was unsure if I would have a single quote that would remain the same, or if I would find a new one each entry. I think I like the challenge. That and I can't think of one quote that defines me all of the time. More than the titles, the quotes I leave definitely mean more to to nature of the entry or the way I feel rather than just being a quote I like. Every quote I leave is from a song, and it usually isn't from the song in the title.

I'm looking forward to blogging as much as I have at any time over the last year. It's still fresh and fun for me, and significant to my mental health. I have no idea the extent of my readership, but I can guess that I only have a few regular readers. I imagine that many people have looked at this a few times over the last year. I also didn't start a blog with the idea that I'd lure readers, or win people over with my writing. If people do read, then I'm stoked.

I do tend to write more outside of the warm months, so I can expect the bulk of my entries to come in the coming months.

Well, have a good week, and thanks for reading.

'We barely remember, who or what came before this precious moment'

Rhyme And Reason

I have been playing my bass a lot the last few hours, and I'm in love with 3 lines that I just have to share.

The three lines, from three different songs, are all pretty different. But the songs are fundamentally similar in their dominant bass presence.

The three songs are:

Muse - New Born
Metallica - Orion
Interpol - The New

I start learning a really tough line by modifying it down to a skeleton that's easy enough to play. Then I'll play the full line at a slower rate, and finally I'll rock the whole line at game speed.

The New - Intro
G|--------9-----10-9---------7---9---10-9------9---10-9-------7---9---10-9--| D|-10-10---10-------10-9-9---9---9-------7--7---7------7-0-0---0---0-------| A|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------| D|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

'The New' is the easiest line, but it may sound the coolest. This is a line that I just picked up tonight, and I learned it in about 10 minutes at full speed. The rest of the song is similar to this line.

Orion - Excerpt from bass solo

G|---------11-----9-----|-----9--------------|---------11-----9-----| D|------11-----7-----7--|--9-----9-----9-----|------11-----7-----7--| A|--9-------------------|-----------7------7--|--9-------------------| E|----------------------|----------------------|----------------------|

G|--9-9-9-9-9-9-9-6---------|---------11-----9-----|-----9--------9-----| D|--------------------9-7-----|------11-----7-----7--|--9-----9-----------| A|------------------------9-7-|--9-------------------|-----------7-----7--| E|-----------------------------|----------------------|--------------------|

The bass solo in 'Orion' is like 3 minutes long, and it's like this for the most part. There's a loop that Cliff Burton plays, and at the end of each loop is room for improvisation. The 4th bar of this excerpt is an example of that, before returning to the beginning of the loop. It's neat and allows for some creative wiggle room. And it sounds rad. It took me an hour to learn or so.

New Born - Main Line
G---9---- | G ---5-------5-------4-------4-------8-------8-----|
D-----7-9 | D -----3-5-----3-5-----2-4----2-4-----6-8-----6-8-|
A-7------ | A -3-------3-------2--------2------6-------6-------|
E-------- | D ---------------------------------------------------|

While all these lines may look standard, they're all played really quickly. 'New Born' is the fastest, and I've been trying to master it for the longest time. I've known the line for about a year, and I leave it and come back to it periodically. This is easily the toughest line of the three, if you listen to it, you can understand why. I still don't have it down.

Link:

New Born @ 2:04
Orion @ 4:00
The New @ 0:05

Comparing these three songs, the bass line spends a lot of time on the 7th and 9th frets of the D and G string. I've found that this area of the fretboard sounds really aurally attractive for some reason. Why is that?

Anyway, thanks for reading.

'Guess you could say I gave you my edge'

One More Pill

Almost Halloween! Woooo.

I don't really like Halloween actually. I'm not doing anything so far, and I'll probably just hang out at home.

I played in a live poker game last night. It's been a long long time since I've done that. I played fairly well, and got fairly lucky over the course of the night. There were 14 people, and I only knew Blake. It was a friendly and fairly amateur game, so no one took things too seriously. It's so much more fun when you don't hate the arrogant guy across the table.

After cards I went downtown with a pile of friends that had been congregating at my house. The girls cabbed, while the rest of us walked down to the old city. It was a decent night, nothing spectacular. I imagine if I had drank as much as my friends, it would have been better. Oh well.

So I'm going to be down a roommate in a month. Saul is moving out of the house, and leaving indefinitely for Europe. It is definitely going to be a little different around here. Me and Jer are much more introverted than Saul, and it is going to be much quieter around the house. I don't mean to say he's loud, but let's just say his milkshake brings all the girls to the yard.

It's been a pretty fun ride living with Saul. From my experience, quality roommates are a valuable commodity, and hard to find in many cases. Saul and I have lived together now for 50 months. It'll just be one more.

'What a fool I'd be to start complaining now'

If You Keep Losing Sleep

Back into the bush Thursday.

I was just finishing my last blog entry when the boys came knocking on my door. They were driving back in to get the two stuck trucks. They needed a third driver to drive a truck home. We stopped by and picked up cherish as well. If I had known that she would be going, I would have stayed home. I was under the assumption that I was needed as a driver.

But I went, and I really didn't want to. I was not feeling so hot. I had slept poorly, and I'd barely had a chance to eat in 24 hours.

I don't really care to detail the entire trip back into the bush. Main points:

• We went in with truck #1, carrying a quad, to free truck #2, and change the spare on jeep #1.
• We successfully freed truck #2.
  
• The spare tire didn't fit, so the jeep stayed in the bush.
• We decided to take the quick way out with truck #1 and #2, rather than the easy way that we came in through.
• Truck #1 got stuck, and damaged severely, trying to get through the 'quick way'.

So we went in with one truck, and came out with another. Two vehicles are still stuck in the there. Brilliant. We were out in the bush pretty last Thursday night, so yesterday (Friday) I slept most of the day. I was so bagged from those two days.

When I have closure on this nightmare, I'll post the denouement. What a carry on.

I spent some time on google earth today trying to figure where we were at. I found out how deep we had gotten, and it was pretty astonishing from the aerial view. When we drove back in yesterday we measured the distance.

We covered 2 km's in JC's Jeep from where Jeff's truck got stuck, and where JC's jeep eventually got stuck.

We covered close to 17km's on foot. This took us down ~13km's of logging road, and the rest was dense brush.

We were picked up 2.8km's from the entrance/the wastelands. We had estimated 3km's.

That's all for now. Have a good weekend.

Thanks for reading.

'You don't want no drama, no, no drama'

40oz. To Freedom

This is going to be long.

My day yesterday was maybe the silliest, craziest day I've ever had. Here's what happened.

1100am: JC comes over to my house to visit. He wants to go 4x4'ing.

1130am: We leave my house to grab a few things and head towards Doumont, which is the place to 4 wheel apparently. Just me and JC are going.

1230pm: We have everything, and are planning on getting into pretty thick brush. This is turning into an amazing day. The sun is nice, we'll be exploring some really neat terrain, and it's basically boys being boys. Although Jeff couldn't make it, he promised to meet us up behind Doumont at 430PM. We set the radio clock and keep an eye on it, afraid that the day might fly by.

200pm: We've been driving for around an hour into the bush when we hear a loud hissing coming from a back tire. A quick check confirms a small rock in the rear left tire, and another check confirms the bad news. No spare.

230pm: We are frantically driving back to Nanaimo, trying to get back while there is still some air in the tire. We are both too afraid to check the tire periodically. We drive over some rough terrain pretty quickly, and this is what probably forced the air out of the punctured tire so quickly. We make good time, but by the time we get back into cell reception range, the tire is pretty pooched. We're driving on the rim, and the smell of burning rubber is getting pretty bad.

245pm: We drive on the rim another 2-3km's to get to fountain tire. The tire is mangled. Driving on the rim carved up the tire in numerous spots, and our vision of getting the leak patched is long gone. JC opts to change all 4 tires, as he was shopping around for that anyway. The tire technicians are shocked at the state of the tire, and give us the good news that the rim is not damaged. This would wind up being the last good news of the day.

400pm: The new tires are on and JC is ultimately happy that he has new tires, and that the situation worked itself out. THIS IS WHERE WE SHOULD HAVE CALLED IT A DAY.

430pm: We meet up with Jeff. He still wants to go 4x4'ing. So 4 of us - JC and I in the jeep with new tires, and Jeff and Cherish in Jeff's truck - take off back to Doumont.

445pm: We have more supplies (check: beer) and some food, and are set to go back into the bush.

545pm: We are an hour into the bush, JC and I leading the way. While earlier in the day we were also an hour in, this time we are much deeper in the woods. Outside the window, we hear a familiar hissing sound. A stick has punctured the side wall of JC's rear left tire. This time there is no slow leak, the tire is already flat and on the rim.

600pm: We have decided now to make a fire by where the jeep is temporarily stuck, and think out a game plan. We decide that we will drive JC's jeep out as far as we can, then jump into Jeff's truck, and all get back home safely. I eat a hot dog, and aside from the pear I had for breakfast, this is all I've eaten all day.

615pm: We head back. Me and JC in the now 3-wheel drive jeep, lead the way. Through the clouded plexiglass windshield we fail to see a pit as we drive by it, and luckily avoid it. In hindsight, I have no idea how we missed seeing it. Jeff's truck, which is wider and much more cumbersome in the bush, drove straight into the pit, which was about 7 feet deep in some spots.

620-820pm: We try desperately for two hours to get Jeff's truck out. Neither truck has a winch line. We have a few ropes, and a chain come-along. All of these options wind up snapping, ripping, or failing in some way. We need to revise our game plan. 

There is no cell reception during any of this, so we cannot call anyone. Our phones, each searching for service, are dying quickly.

It is becoming a realistic nightmare that we might have to walk out.

830pm: JC's jeep still runs. The four of us pile into his disabled ride, and slowly try to cover as much ground back as possible. We make it about 5 minutes before his jeep gets stuck, as driving on only 3 good wheels is very difficult.

830-900pm: If we don't free the jeep, we are walking home. We spend half an hour trying to free the jeep. In the process we burn out the clutch, wreck the front universal, and fail to dislodge the jeep. With no universal, the 4 wheel drive turns into 2 wheel drive. With one flat tire, 4 wheel drive turns into 1 wheel drive. WE ARE WALKING.

910pm: We get into survival mode. We leave the alcohol behind, and grab water, a blanket, and turn our cell phones off to conserve power. Jeff leaves his cell on, because in the thick brush, we can't see a thing.

We know the way back by foot, and JC and Jeff begin to argue half-heartedly about the distance back. It is somewhere between 17-25km's home.

920pm: The first part of the walk is very dark and full of puddles. The puddles stretch as wide as the trail, and maybe 100 feet long. After hitting puddle after puddle, none of us have dry feet.

Until now, I forgot to mention that we had a 5th with us. Jeff brought his puppy with us. Over the entire night she did very well, and held us up only a few times.

1000pm: Jeff's phone is almost dead. Luckily we reach a main logging road. The trail we had been walking on was very slow going. Now we can use natural light to help us get back. Jeff's cell phone goes off.

1030pm: Still walking. We find an opening with a weak cell signal. We call for a ride from the only person we know who can get us. Kelsey, JC's girlfriend, doesn't know her way very well. She can get to boomerang lake, and pick us up there.

Kelsey will be at the entrance to Boomerang Lake by 11pm.

Boomerang Lake is 10km away from where we are.

1230am: We are still walking on the logging road. We finally reach the entrance to Boomerang Lake. Kelsey is not there. She has come and gone. Being alone on a logging road at night for hours scares me, and it obviously scared her.

We haven't had cell reception for hours, and we're 7-8 km's away from a weak cell signal, and 10 km's away from where a normal car can drive into.

Each of us hit our individual wall over the next hour. We are mentally and physically exhausted.

200am: We have left the logging road, and been through more dense brush. We are wet again from more puddles. We stumble across a lit fire. We hope someone is there to help us.

The fire has been abandoned by whoever had been there. We check and find a really weak cell signal. We call/text for a ride. We stoke up the fire in attempt to dry and warm ourselves. I am so exhausted that drying my frozen feet is secondary, and sleeping on a random pallet next to the fire is primary. I succeed in neither one.

245am: Jen arrives at the base of Doumont. She got my text, but can't close the 3 km's between the base and where we are. Neither of us knew where the other was at this point.

300am: No one is coming according to us. Jeff decided to walk the rest of the way out and get a ride out to get us. We figure there's still 3 km's to freedom. His phone is dead, so he grabs JC's. My phone is dead at this time, and so is Cherish's.

301am: Kelsey comes rumbling down the road in her truck and finds us. We run and hug her.

330am: We get out of Doumont, and Jen is still waiting. We disperse and call it a night.

I don't know what to say about yesterday. It was frustrating, exhausting, and quite an experience. The 4 of us were really positive the entire time. We didn't get on each other, and no one complained. 

In all, we walked about 5 hours. We couldn't see our way for 1-2 of those hours. I'm unsure of the total distance that we covered.

I warmed up and came down around 4am. I fell asleep around then.

Edit: Just under 17km's total. Around 3-3.5km's of those in unlit brush. The time spent walking in the brush, and the time spent walking on the logging road was roughly even.

Inside The Cynic

I just realized that I'm coming up on one year of having a blog.

I've really enjoyed having a blog over the last year. I'll probably put up some sort of stat pack on the 27th.

I find a few things that are strange about writing. I have written a ton, about lots of different things, and for different reasons. I written criticisms, essays, poems, journals, yes love letters, and hundreds of pages of notes on information I'm not sure I'll ever access again. So I have taste for a pen. But I can't for the life of me write music.

It's weird. I can't seem to put words to music, or put music to any words. I think I'm going to try to study the art of writing music a little bit. It probably just takes a little practice. I sure hope it's not a case of if-you've-got-it--you've-got-it sort of thing. Then I don't have it.

Oh well. I'm finding that with practice and time, I'm slowly becoming creative in creating music on my bass. I imagine it's not too different with writing.

Thanks for reading. Comment on anything you see. I'd like to hear from you, even if it's anonymous (I just changed the settings).

'Remember you're a wreck, an accident
forget the freak, you're just nature'

Wicked Game

This entry is about nothing but baseball.

I watched game 7 of the ALCS tonight, and it was everything I could hope for in a deciding game.

Boston was at Tampa, and the home team wound up winning. I was cheering for the rays, so I was pretty stoked. They were definitely the underdogs tonight, considering that the Red Sox are the defending world champs, and the last two games have swung momentum in Boston's way big time.

The one-hour long 8th inning was full of really good baseball and small ball subtleties that me and my dad really enjoyed. The game definitely wasn't over until the last out, and I was excited to see the team mob each other.

The rays now face the Phillies in the World Series, and I can't imagine it living up to the ALCS. Maybe Philly will surprise me. Meanwhile, I really hope T bay can keep their run going. Four more wins and it's worst to first. They already went worst to first in the division, and in the american league. Now take er home.

Hope you got to see it.

'and it's in everything I ever write'

People Are Strange

Weird couple days.

First, since Thursday night I've been punishing my body with various cancers. I stayed sober last night, but I definitely wasn't during the day yesterday. Anyway.

Yesterday was a strange day, where everything I did was kind of foreign. I went 4x4'ing with Jeff and three other people. I didn't really know the other people, and it was kind of a tight fit with 4 of us in the cab of one truck. We went offroad to a strange place that I suppose could be classified as in Nanaimo, but it was a ways off into the bush behind Doumont. It was called Boomerang lake.

It was this tree-d in camping area where we were planning on setting up a fire and roasting hot dogs. Except there were a number of holes in this plan. First, the ones who masterminded this forgot to bring anything to build a fire with (paper, wood, etc.). We did have a lighter. Second, all the wood around was wet. And lastly, they put me in charge of creating this fire. WTF. I'm not sober at this point, and I'm trying to go with the flow in the background with these people I don't know.

It probably took me 30 mins to bring back my boy scout skills from 10 years back. I managed to get the fire started, and the smokies wound up being really good.

We got kind of turned around on the drive back, but managed to get back into town around 5pm last night, in time to get changed and go to the 'King of the Cage' event at Frank Crane.

For those unfamiliar, 'KotC' was an event with 17 scheduled MMA fights. I have been to a boxing event in Nanaimo a long time ago, but nothing like this. It was really what finished the day off as 'weird'. The event drew hundreds of aggressive penis heads out of the woodwork. Normally when I go to a local gathering with several thousand people, I can easily find at least a few friends. I had never seen most of these people, and the ones I did were the aggressive penis heads from high school. Docuhe-y was a word that just kept popping up.

That being said, the fights were amazing. There were two really memorable fights. I've liked MMA and the UFC for a while now, so I was familiar with how the fights went on. The main events were a bit of a let down, but a few undercards were awesome.

I've backed myself up a few days, as I didn't really expect to partake in half the things I did in the last few days. I had to turn down quadding/dirtbiking/jeep 4x4'ing today. I need to hit the reset button.

There's roast at my parents tonight. And game 7 of Boston/Tampa. Go T Bay.

'You crawled from the cancer to land on your feet'

Immortality

Great song by Pearl Jam. And a really good cover by Seether.

I discovered the song back when I bought 'Vitalogy', which is a really strange album. It was the best track on that album, imo. On 'One Cold Night', Seether covered it. It think that came out like two years ago or something. Anyway, both versions are unreal, with subtle little quirks that I love so much.

I had a job interview today. It went as well as it could have. I need to spend a week deciding whether I can commit myself to it, then call the guy with my decision. Then I do two more interviews, and start Dec. 1.

I didn't feel really stressed about the interview, but now that it's done and I'm home, I'm really relieved it's over. I haven't drank this much water in a long time. I've been really thirsty and dry mouthed all day.

Well, it's Friday afternoon, and I had a gangly week. I'm going to go play some video games, then jam with the boys later.

'Waitin', watchin' the clock, it's four o'clock'

Black Helicopter

This is going to be quick.

I did the 16 hour voting thing yesterday. Good times good times. This blog is going to serve as a reminder if I ever contemplate doing that again. It really sucked Mike. Never do it again.

I downloaded 'happiness... is not a fish you can catch', and I had forgotten that I love Our Lady Peace. Wow that album is awesome. It really is. You should get it and listen to it.

So I've been generally busy this week. Aside from the election, and the OLP kick, lots is going on, and I like it that way. I did ICBC this morning, and it was nice being on the it's-not-my-fault side of things. They can be assholes if you're playing the it's-my-fault game with them.

So I'm looking really forward to my job interview on Friday. I've never been so ecstatic about an interview, or a job opportunity.

Enjoy the rest of the week, and thanks for reading.

'You're going to get what you deserve
And not a bullet less'

Cars And Calories

Yay motor vehicle accidents.

I had a really great day yesterday, one of the best days I've had in a long time. Then last night was a pretty stark contrast.

Yesterday Landon, Saul and I went to parksville around noon to get the thanksgiving dinner going. We got the bird cleaned, prepped, stuffed, and in the oven in good time. We were drinking caesars and eating reubens, and generally having a really great time. A bunch of friends were coming over for dinner, but no one was arriving until at least 4pm, so we had some time to kill. We cranked the Van Morrison and cooked away.

I didn't have much to do, cooking wise. It was Landon's bird, and he is the stuffing specialist. I also wasn't on vegetable duty, so all that left was to prep dessert, which only took 20 mins.

A few friends showed up early, and we all went for a walk through my old neighbourhood to the beach. We kept drinking, but by dinner I was sobering up and getting really tired.

There were 11 of us for dinner, and it was a feast. I didn't have a lot of dinner actually, but I stuffed myself before and after, so I was in a good place.

After dinner I hung out for a while, then took off to hang out with Chris for a while. Me, Chris, and eight more went to BP to hang out. It was nice to see him and Kat (his wife). They're both super cool people, and I've never seen Chris in a bad mood.

After BP, I went back to Saul's place in Parksville, where a few people were still hanging out. It was getting on around midnight, and a few people were still drinking. I agreed to drive Landon's truck home with Landon and Darren. I dropped Landon off at his house, and was on my way to drop Darren off when I got into an accident with a drunk driver.

It wasn't a bad accident, but it was a collision no less, and it was kind of scary. No one was hurt, and Landon's truck wasn't too bad considering. I reacted really well I thought. I immediately called 911, and they hustled their way to the accident scene around 20 mins later. Which is strange because there are DEFINITELY cops within 2 minutes of 4th and Bruce at all times. Anyway. I wanted nothing to do with the other driver, so I didn't interact with him in any way.

There were a few telltale signs that told me the other driver had been drinking.
1. He ran a stop sign going pretty damn fast. Like he came out of absolutely nowhere.
2. Upon impact, a beer can came out of the drivers side window and landed in the middle of the intersection.
3. Upon exiting his vehicle, the driver said "it's all my fault, I've been drinking".

Anyway, Saul and Leah came right away to sit with me. Landon and Dana came a little later to see what I had done. Then Jeremy came with his tools to help with the bumper. We had a little gathering, and almost two hours after the accident, I was home. What a night.

So this coming week I have voting day, ICBC day, and friday I have a long interview that I really should prepare for. It's going to be an abnormal week, to say the least.

Looking back, it was still a really good time yesterday.

'You could have a steam train
If you'd just lay down your tracks'

You Fucking Love It

Grumpy as hell.

I won't take it out on you the reader, I'm just saying.

I had a good day. It was nice to work hard, and it's also nice to be tired. I haven't been tired in a while. It's been fucking up my sleeping pattern, but I figure if I work and get tired, I can turn that around.

I worked in Nanoose today at a really beautiful property on a rock face overlooking a neat little cove. It was a really cool spot to work because every time I looked up from my work, I would smile. The view stretched all the way to Mt. Arrowsmith. I had missed working for Jeff. He's a really nice guy, and super laid back at work. Not saying we slack off. We work pretty hard, we just b.s. while we go.

Now I'm home and planning on spending the remainder of my night playing online poker and/or xbox. Either one suits me just fine. Maybe I'll lean towards xbox, because at least I can guarantee that I'll come out less grumpier. I can picture myself sucking at poker, then continuing on life tilt and not sleeping again. lol. Not going there. Xbox it is.

Have a great weekend, and try to listen to some great music. I'm pretty stoked to make a cd tomorrow morning...

'Going out the door that day
Headed south is what I'd say
If you asked me, I would say
I headed south that day'

Dweller On The Threshold

Weeeeee.

Finally. A productive day that I can be happy about. I've spent the last few weeks in a bit of a funk. Last night I kept myself awake, giving myself shit about not getting anything done. I slept great between 5am-11am. I didn't really wake up motivated, or with any plan in mind.

But I showered long, did laundry, and got stuff done around the house. I studied for a while for the tests I'm waiting for in the mail. It's tough for me to study for this test, when I don't know when it'll come in the mail. Could be tomorrow, or late next week. Oh well.

Then I organized some work for tomorrow. Thank god. I need to get my hands on some work, just some short term stuff to hold me for a few weeks while I finish getting stuff organized. I texted a buddy, and luckily he has some work for me.

I helped Jen finish her move tonight. Well, technically we didn't finish. The fridge/freezer stuff needs to be moved still. But for all intents and purposes, she's moved and can start diving into some boxes.

I went shopping tonight as well. Which was long overdue. I think part of the reason I was feeling crummy for a few weeks was because I wasn't eating very much/well.

So I bought some good food, organized some work, cleaned up my act a little, and planned what should be a great weekend. Work and dinner at my parents tomorrow. Thanksgiving Saturday. And hanging out with Chris somewhere in there.

Hope you have a good weekend.

'Holding back the fool again'

Send It Up

New Ipod!

Oh baby. I can distinctly remember the day I bought my first Ipod, and the day I bought my second. It was a pink 4gig mini, then last year I finally upgraded to an 80gig video. That was treating me just fine until it was dropped last month at my birthday party. The screen was cracked, and the drop-er promised to buy me a new one.

Well, today was that day. There are no new 80gig classics apparently, so she bought me the 120gig classic instead. I thanked her very much, and I'm glad there's no hard feelings on the issue.

I don't have much going on, so I thought I'd just go off about my ipod. It's going to take a few days to add all the media I have onto it. I don't have usb2.0, so the transfer rate is agonizing.

Chris is coming to town in a few days. I think I mentioned that the other day. I'm really stoked. It should be a good weekend.

Thanks for reading.

'Made the skyline look like crooked teeth'

Just Like The Day

What weather!

Oh man, it feels like summer again. I was out with a few friends today playing tennis. It was really nice to get outside, as I spent the entire weekend indoors. I played a few sets of doubles, and it was good to know that my tennis skills never really left. They were never solid, but I've always been decent at racquet sports. I think now that I've played a decent amount of squash, I can say that I prefer squash over tennis, and probably over badminton as well. I can hit the ball harder, and I can run harder in squash. I can't really whack the shit outta the ball and keep control in tennis, nor is it a good workout when you're playing doubles. That aside, I had a great time with friends out there.

I helped Jen move Sunday and Monday, and she's got it done for the most part. A few odds and ends need to be moved still, but it's not an issue. I'm really happy that it's over, and I'm glad the move went smoothly.

Yesterday I did training for my job that I took at the election. My position is the poll clerk. I bet nobody else at my training session was less than twice my age. I was the only person under 50 I'm pretty sure. Anyway, I voted yesterday for the liberals. Yeah, I'm gonna share that. Now Blake can grill me.

Speaking of elections, the US presidential debate is coming up at 6pm. Saul and I are going to make popcorn and watch it together. Which is nice, because he doesn't like popcorn. I'm so ready to pick kernels out of my teeth while dissecting McCain's stance on the economy. Bristol ftw.

Midweek woot. Enjoy the rest.

'And I want to play til they're kicking down the door '

Wheel

Busy few days. And the next few should be no less eventful.

Thursday night some friends decided to go out to Pipers pub on the other end of town. Some other friends of mine live near there, so after the pub I wandered over and hung out with JC. We had a few drinks and headed downtown, and got loser drunk. That term probably didn't originate from Saul, but his application of it towards me was spot on in this case.

Friday morning I woke up early and went to Vancouver with Landon. He had to pick up a raptor700 quad from some place over there, and wanted a buddy to tag along. The sushi restaurant on Hornby St was the highlight of the day for both of us. We had lots of tasty food, in a real trendy hole in the wall type place. I forget the name of the place, but I won't forget how to get there.

From lunch, we went to pick up the quad. It was a bit of a battle lifting the thing into the back of Landon's truck, but OMG what a beautiful machine. It is blue/white, and looks like this:

http://www.atvriders.com/images/yamaha/2007/2007raptor700rbluese600.jpg

Unfortunately, the guy who owns the quad, who sent it down to us in Van, forgot to send the key. Don't tease me bro. That put a bitter twist on the day for Landon.

We missed the 5 ferry, and I slept in the ferry line from around 4pm-7pm. We got home around 9:30pm last night, and somewhere along the way we decided to drink. We arrived home, and my roommates had aleady started drinking and were waiting to play music. So we played a little music, played a little catchup, and had a fairly decent go at it. Drinking two nights in a row is a little uncharacteristic for me, and I think my body hates me.

Moving on. I shipped a job interview at NR Fitness as a personal trainer. I'll be getting certified as I train and shadow someone at NR, and it'll be nice to overlap like that. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find employment until I finished my certification, and it sucks waiting on the mail for tests to arrive and be marked. So I'm really excited about this opportunity, and I love job interviews.

Tonight I'm going over to my parents house, mostly to watch game 3 of the cubs series. They lost their first two games, and it's do or die tonight. I haven't watched them play an entire game this year, and this is the most important one. Too bad it's in LA, and not home in Chicago. My favorite pitcher is throwing tonight, a guy named Rich Harden from victoria. So I'm really stoked for the game.

Jen is moving in the next few days, so when I'm not watching the cubs, I'll be helping her pack. Her new place is pretty cool and it's no farther or closer to her work, or to my house. The moving truck is booked for Monday, so it's just a matter of organization between now and then.

Monday I have a pretty busy day actually. On top of helping Jen move, I have training for the job I took at upcoming elections. It's a two hour thing in the middle of the day on Monday, then a 12 hour gig on election day. I can't forget, I also have to vote on Monday, because I won't be able to vote on election day.

Anyway, that's the long way around my weekend. Next weekend is going to be nice. Landon has the bird ready to rock, and we're going to potluck bigtime in Parksville. Also, Chris is coming home for the weekend from Ontario, so I'm hoping to hang out with him and ship 2+ thanksgiving dinners.

Take care.

'I'm on call, to be there.'