Aurora

Hey guys,

I've been disappearing from this thing more and more recently. This blog has basically been on life support for the last few months. I think I write better (--> more often) when I'm alone, and without a computer of my own, I'm just never alone when I get online anymore.

Holiday season in full swing, hey? What's different about this december? I'm trying to pinpoint a few things, but things are just a little off. Maybe it's the potential eviction I'm facing, but I don't think it is. Whatever it is, it's not bugging me, things are just a little different.

I had a real opportunity at a new job this week, and it was real exciting to think that I might be able to use my degree. For the first time. But no, that got shut right down. I wouldn't normally have been pissed that they filled the position, but the way the manager (a friend) spoke to me led me to believe I was a lock. Bad beat.

Speaking of locks, I locked up a couple of brags this week - care of my mother. I settled my Mexico plans for next may, thanks to my mother. The next day, today, she bought me a classy looking jacket. My family has never spent this much money on me at one time. Ever. I've always wondered what it must be like to have my family pay for something significant in my life. I always see it happen elsewhere. Now I know.

I'm really enjoying time these days with my soccer team, and my friends. I like the schedule of soccer. I don't always get to enjoy time with friends 3 days a week, but soccer is always goin on. And I'm still really enjoying coaching my team. Since the first 6 weeks of the soccer year, when I was struggling to make the right team, everything has been smooth, enjoyable, and completely successful. I guess that's the only confirmation I can have that I made the right team.

I've been selected to recruit and coach an all star team for my league, which will play against an all star team from another league. It's kinda cool to get chosen for that, and I'm in the midst of selecting the team right now. It's weird choosing players from teams I don't like. Fraternizing with the enemy almost. I can handle it. Every one of the 10 teams will have a player on the all star team I've decided. There's no rules or anything like that, the process is pretty open ended. I'll run one practice in victoria in the new year with the team, then play the all star game on January 9th. Apparently it isn't a volunteer position, and I'll be getting paid. Sick.

In the next few weeks I'm pretty busy. Work is consistent, soccer will start to taper a little, and I'll have plenty of family related obligations to fill/enjoy. The one guarantee is that I'll be well fed all month. I love that.

Tiger Tiger Woods y'all.

'The more I see, the less I like

Is it over yet?'

Stranger Things Have Happened

It's movember. Gross. Yet it's for a good cause. Growing a mustache to raise awareness of prostate cancer. Stranger things have happened I suppose.

Making for a good segue, my brother is coming to town tomorrow. He had a ridic mustache last year. It'll be nice to see him. I haven't seen him since July, and I haven't seen his son or fiancee since the spring. Yeah, way too long.

I'll be spending most of my weekend in Victoria. I've been in victoria the last 3 weeks, and the hour and a half drive is pretty easy at this point. My U21 team has been playing on the road in Vic for the past 3 weeks, and we have 2 more weeks there to go. They've been playing well. We're unbeaten at 5-0, and atop the league standings. One of the parents started a fan website for the team. You can check it out here.

COD:MW2 is coming out in 3 days. For all you non gamers who are out of the loop, that's Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. The hype is pretty huge for this thing. Not just with me. The youtube community watched the trailer more than any other video a few days ago. You can see the trailer here. I've been really excited to get this game since I heard it was coming out, like a year ago. On tuesday it comes out, and I'll be out there getting it hopefully.

I have this stupid sickness that has been steadily growing for a few weeks. It's reached it's worst point in the last few days. I wish I could just get good and sick, and get it over with. At least that would be better than feeling without energy for a week, then getting a nasal cold for a week, then a sore throat, and so on. It hasn't stopped me from working, coaching, or anything like that.

I'm in the process of booking my may trip to mexico for my brother's wedding. I'll kind of be relieved when it's all booked and taken care of, then I can relax about it. It's going to be an amazing experience, although I'm keeping pretty low key about it. I've never been to an exotic place before, and I'm not going to let expectations ruin anything for me. I'm sure it'll be a blasty blast, and I AM going to get pumped up for the fact that my bro is getting married. Good times with rings.

Other than this weekend with soccer and my brother coming to town, not much is new or remotely exciting.

Christmas is lurking. Really?

'Here's the hitch, your horse is leaving'

Storm In A Teacup

Woo crazy month.

I had kind of a hectic month. First off, I no longer have a computer. I got home one morning and it wouldn't turn on. After troubleshooting a bit, I took it in, only to find out that the cpu, motherboard, power supply, and video card were all shot. Woot. So no computer for me.

Second, my roommate's neglect for her dog - which created a semi-crisis in july - nearly got us all evicted a few weeks back. After we had the damage fixed, we were told we were allowed to stay - for how long? It was kind of an interesting process. It was the second landlord incident I've had in the 5 years I've lived on my own. The first was another fun little miscommunication back in 2005 - 1. we secure a house months in advance; 2. we prepare to move in; 3. landlord pulls out a day before, leaving me and saul stranded for a week.

The landlord process doesn't bother me. The fact that my current landlord cannot communicate properly with me is another issue. He doesn't speak english well at all. The problems that stem from that alone are pretty self explanatory.

The whole month wasn't hectic. Not having a computer may actually be a small blessing in disguise. A new years resolution of mine was to cut down on my screen time, and while a newly acquired tech device may set me back (the fabled PVR), not having a computer is giving me way more time to do other things.

Soccer is totally my life right now. I am in the coaching zone right now, and I stay awake at night trying to figure ways to make my perfect team more perfect. After 3 games (a very small season sample), we're perfect, and in first place.

I've also been playing a bunch, which is very therapeutic. Coaching all week, all I crave sometimes is to step in and play. Watching my team play, without lacing up cleats myself, may be one of the hardest parts of me taking up coaching. Anyway, a couple United teams have been using me for a few games. I've still got it!

Stream of consciousness, that a month off from blogging will create: Old buddies are back in town, and fall should be pretty fun with them. My parents are less than impressed with how I've been treating them, which is very similar to the way they treat me. I miss my brother more than I ever have, as he has almost become the new voice of reason in my family. I need to work more. I need a roommate. I need to take a snapshot of how I feel about coaching right now, as the feeling won't/can't last, and I'll be searching for it later.

See you in a month?

'Another loose cannon gone bipolar'

Bang The Doldrums

Yawn.

Hey it's fall. It was like 26 degrees yesterday, and it really doesn't feel like fall.

My team has had the start of the season pushed back two weeks, and we finally start this sunday in Victoria. The boys are pretty amped up for the start of the campaign. I have to admit that I am too. In the past, I've only ever begun training a month before a season starts. We've been preparing formally for 8 weeks. So we're more than antsy to get going. I have absolutely no concept of our opposition, which kind of hinders our preparation. Doesn't really matter. I expect that we'll do reasonably well this year, even though we are very young and inexperienced. In 7 exhibition games we went 4 wins, 1 loss, and 2 ties. Which, like NHL preseason, means nothing.

My weeks are really structured now. It's kind of weird getting back into the idea of looking forward to weekends as the reward for my week. Sunday's are when we play our games, and that's going to be the day I look most forward to every week. It's interesting to change from this summer, when day to day plans were really unstructured, and I never really looked forward to anything. Here we go though. Tomorrow's going to be a good friday.

I have an interesting dilemma. Well, dilemma might be a bad word. I want to move to Victoria. Not like next month or anything. But next year, like apr/may/june 2010. I have no problems walking away from any job(s) that I'll have then. But I don't know how tough it'll be to move away from my parents and friends. To be fair to my friends, I don't see them very often, and think that moving away from the same city as my parents will be kinda tough.

How do I balance this situation?

I guess I have to weigh the reasons why I want to move. In my opinion, I have more reasons to leave than to stay. This city is too small for me to continue to deal with what I've created in the last 5 years that I've lived here. That sounds bad. Ex girlfriends, people I don't like, places I don't like, trends I need to escape, and an atmosphere that I find choking are good reasons to leave. Not 'deal-maker' reasons, but contributing factors. I'm just plain old sick and tired of running around the same old town. That's allowed to be good enough for me.

Victoria seems like the perfect sized city for me. I couldn't handle a city as big as Vancouver, nevermind somewhere like LA. I'm not major city material. The greater Vic area has 300K people, like 4x's the size of nanaimo. I don't need to live in a 1M plus population.

Anyway, that's a ways away. Somehow I already miss my friends, like I'm already moved. Oh well.

'If you want to get out alive, run for your life'

Growing Old Is Getting Old

I'm back in the busy swing of things. I'm working two jobs pretty regular now, and soccer is taking up 3-4 pm's a week.

I have started 3 of my 4 kids programs at the community center. It's pretty neat, and the kids are completely awesome in their innocence. All they want to do is play and play and play. I am required to structure two of my programs, and I'm kind of disappointed that they haven't been received well. Some kids are two shy to step out of their shell, while others are too rambunctious to cooperate. My programs go until April, giving me ample time to figure shit out. I am meeting a ton of new people, which is nice.

I sometimes see people as potential cogs in my machine. Maybe they have opportunities for me. Maybe they know people. I think that meeting 100 new people in a month is going to do wonders for me.

I had a 'what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-with-your-life?' moment last week. It hit me at 1am last friday night when I was drunk and maybe high, and it kind of wrecked my night. I like running around with the boys sometimes, doing guys stuff. I asked myself the same question the next morning as I hunted around for the tylenol. I came to the conclusion that I don't really care what I'm doing with my life right now. It doesn't bother me that I'm not saving for a mortgage. It doesn't bother me that I'm not doing things that are life-productive. I'm not exactly being counter productive, I just like to spin my wheels sometimes.

I remember last september really well. I was living out the last of the small summer fortune I had made, and I was kind of puttering around on fumes for a few months until I finally got my shit together late October. I am super stoked to not be in that position this year. God damn. I am busy, I am banking, and I am not puttering. I'm really excited about 25 being a good year. 24 was more or less forgettable for me, with a few exceptions. It doesn't really matter why. But I'm optimistic about 25.

Thanks for reading.

'I've been now sauntering

Out and down the path sometime

Come on, it takes me nowhere, which I knew'

The Road

09/09/09. Spooky.

Wow I haven't blogged in a while. I'm not going to dwell on that. I'm probably going to continue to post fairly infrequently. I'm pretty busy these days, and I don't feel the need to write as much anymore.

I just wrapped up my summer with a roadtrip to DMB at the Gorge in Washington. It was an interesting trip. I made the same trip last year, and I felt it was more fun than this year. There were plenty of good times and crazy memories from this year though. Me, Jen and Amanda saw DMB play both saturday and sunday night. I was kind of skeptical about hearing DMB's new stuff live, but I actually was blown away at how awesome it sounded. The concerts themselves were definitely the best part of the trip for me. The first act on Saturday night took the stage at 6pm, and DMB played past 11pm. It was pretty sick.

I had my birthday over the weekend, and I'm officially mid-20's. Awesome. I managed to get everything I wanted from my family and friends. I feel like I'm too old to be asking for things for my birthday, plus I'm not really needy.

I have my soccer team picked for the year. We are finally practicing alone, after 6 weeks of painful practices with 25-50 guys. The season officially starts in a week and a half, and I'm very excited and confident with my team. It's kind of fulfilling to create and guide something, and see success in it. That's talking ahead of things, because we haven't found much success yet as the season hasn't started. But I am pretty certain that we're going to do fairly well. I have a very talented team, and I feel like even a rookie coach like me can steer them into title contention.

Well that's basically it for my summer. Bookended by the two camping trips I took on May long and September long, I had an eventful and busy summer. I attended an amazing wedding, took in 4 insane concerts, and played endlessly with my friends at tennis courts, golf courses, volleyball courts, and the disc golf course. I worked very little, and managed to live within my means. I lived well, worked when I had to, and enjoyed the bulk of my time off. I began to learn how to coach, and met tons of great new people on the turf field. 17 of those great people are now under my leadership for the year, and I'm proud to call myself their coach. I drank too much sometimes, I ate too much others, and I usually overdid each thing I did to the point of exhaustion. In the name of having as much fun as possible. I think I'll look back on this summer as a memorable one. I'm happy that so many friends could be a big part of it.

Now that the weather is turning, and summer feels done, I'm going to grind out some work for a while. My roommates are both back in school, so things around the house will have a little more focus. Although fall will bring a few really fun activities - quadding, and the return of landon and court - I foresee a lot of hardworking days that start with me riding the bus, and end with me at the soccer field. I will be at the conference center a pile, and my community center programs start this coming monday (bring on the 0-4 year olds!).

I'm going to go think about sleeping. I'm in love with stephen king again, but I have a meeting early tomorrow. Dangerous balance to find...

'Oh and when the kids are old enough

We gonna teach them to fly'

Old Habits Die Hard

September is right around the corner. It seemed like summer just started yesterday when we went to Sproat for May long. That was almost 3 and a half months ago. Even though summer goes another month, I can't help but always feel like my birthday bookends my summer. I haven't decided whether I'm going to have a party yet or not, but I have decided what I'm doing for my birthday.

I'm heading down to washington for my birthday with a few friends to go camping and see Dave Matthews. It's the same trip I went on last year, but this year my birthday falls on the saturday of the trip. I'm getting pretty excited about it. If it's anything like last year, it'll be an absolute blast.

I found out today that Buzz Aldrin - yes, Apollo 11 Buzz - likes two things in life: space exploration, and hip-hop. Awesome! The clip I watched showed Aldrin jamming with Snoop, soulja boy, and a few others. It was a major sign of the apocalypse. Apparently he has a new single out.

It's kind of a rainy day today, so I thought I'd spend some time on my computer. Catch up on my blog/twitter/facebook/youtube. I email every day now that I coach a soccer team, and I'm sending 30-50 emails a week now. It's kind of weird being the sender, after years of only checking my email for received messages.

Speaking of coaching, I really can't get through to my players, even when I use really blunt terms. Some kids are going to be really dissappointed that they don't make my team, and they have only themselves to blame. I try to give everyone a lot of opportunities to prove themselves and make their presence known on my radar. All the guys that are questionable for making the team, don't show up more than 50% of the time, and then email me to find out their status on the team. 'Well buddy, I don't really see you with a place on my team'. I think that's just it. They think it's their team, and they can come and go as they want. It's not. It's all mine. I make the picks, I run the show. Oh well. Dissapointing kids is the least of my worries I guess. In a week I'll have my team, and we'll be going in the right direction.

That's it. 10 days until my birthday. It's all soccer and work these days. The conference center is ramping up again, and so is the community center.

'Hungry people don't stay hungry for long'

Help, I'm Alive

Strange days.

I'm in full coaching mode, and I've been busy with my u21's trying to make the perfect team. It's difficult with ego's, injuries, etc. I find myself lost sometimes trying to coach these guys. They aren't overly perceptive at taking direction - they talk the talk but can't walk it. The season starts in a month, and I have a lot of work to do before then. I really hope the regular season isn't this stressful.

I also have experienced a number of other quirky abnormalities that have made this week strange. My roommate just got a puppy this week, then took off on vacation and left his sister in charge of the infant animal. Nice. After a difficult evening, I'm now taking care of the puppy. Perfect. I love dogs. But I don't want a dog. I also love sleep. Not getting much of that though.

There's a party at my house tonight, and I won't be anywhere close. I have to work, then rescue the puppy from the mayhem after my shift is done. I totally wish I could just fast forward to tomorrow morning. The thought of living another week in this house like the week I've just had makes me want to kill someone so I could enjoy life in a prison. And that's before tonight even happens. YAY!

Oh pessimism. When all is said, the puppy is super cute, and I'm pretty good with it. I have a soccer game tomorrow morning, and I'm pretty excited to have my boys play better.

'You can't always get what you want'

Can't Run But

I'm loving the PETA vs. Michael Vick saga! I love it when sports transcend sports and tickle the depths of humane issues. It doesn't happen very often that there's a story like this in the sports world that is so important. Very reminiscent of the Mike Tyson rape trial and the Pete Rose gambling circus.

The background facts of the issue are this:

1. Michael Vick was involved in a dog fighting ring where dogs were tortured and killed.

[bias] I like dogs [/bias]

2. Mike was found, charged, and served time for his crime. Regardless of the term served, it was a term decided by the federal court in Virginia.

[bias] I have faith in the justice system, and therefore faith in second chances, rehabilitation, etc. [/bias]

3. Vick was re-signed this week, and reinstated into the NFL, where he'll be a football star again, after being suspended since 2007.

4. Vick is working with local humane societies and with authorities to uncover underground dog fighting rings, and to help stop cruelty to animals.

5. PETA is off their fucking chain about it.

PETA is disappointed that the Philadelphia Eagles have chosen to sign a man who hanged dogs from trees, electrocuted them with jumper cables, held them underwater until they drowned in his swimming pool, and even threw his own family dogs into the fighting pit to be torn to shreds while he laughed. What sort of message does this send to young fans who care about animals and don't want to see them be harmed?

This is super interesting to me. And PETA is super intense imo. It's my opinion that PETA has no faith in the justice system, or in second chances in human beings. They obviously believe in second chances for animals. The kind of message I get from PETA is that they believe in the ethical treatment of animals, not the logical treatment of humans.

The kind of message that I get from Vick is that he's paid the price with his prison term, he made a mistake in his decisions, and he's working hard to make sure other people don't fall into the same pattern of behaviour. I get this message because I'm watching him say it on a live press conference.

Anyway, I'm not going to be a big hater of PETA. A lot of things they do point to stupidity without me having to do it.

Interesting story. That's all.

'Go write your message in the pavement'

Drift and Die

Busy weeks. Things are moving fast now that summer has hit it's peak. Weeks are more or less flying by. It's kind of hard for me to grasp that it's Thursday today. It felt like saturday night last night.

I spent the last week doing tons of really fun things. I had my first game (albeit exhibition) with my U21 boys on friday night, and we crushed our opponents 3-0. I actually didn't have much chance to watch the game, so I didn't really get a chance to give anyone a good look. I was too busy figuring out line changes, talking to parents, and telling guys how to play soccer. Seems straight forward - playing soccer - but guys make it really complicated sometimes. It's my job to dumb it back down to 'soccer'. Run pass shoot score. Win. We won.

I spent Saturday in Qualicum for Nicole's wedding, and it was a blast. Everything went really well, and it was fun to hang out with my friends. Sunday I really don't remember what I did. Monday I went to Campbell River to hang out with Jen and her parents. I checked out the Filberg Festival in Comox, and while I was pretty sceptical about artisan and crafts type stuff, I actually had a pretty good time.

I got back into town yesterday, and it's back to house sitting for a few different people. Which is kind of a nice gig. I don't really need to hang out much, and both places are near my house. My parents took off on a 2-3 week vacation, and I get full reign on their house/food/car. Which is pretty sweet.

I've been keeping crazy busy, and to try to report on everything would take a while. The summer is going really well, and while I'm squeezing in a ton of fun this summer, some of it's repetitive and I wonder if i'll get certain things in. I really want to get out and kayak around, and the weeks just kind of keep ticking by. Hopefully soon. I haven't spent enough time on the water this summer.

Anyway, I'm off to Qualicum again tonight for soccer. Tomorrow is another game with my U21's, and saturday I'm hosting a BBQ. Not a bad way to end a week.

Thanks for reading - comments are always welcome.

'When I was young I knew everything'

Whatever Gets You Through The Night

Oh July.

I spent the last week in Victoria, at the lakes, and on the golf course. It wasn't too bad. I mean, It wasn't whistler, and it wasn't camping, and it wasn't Vancouver in a hotel. But life is awefully nice.

I keep hearing a funny sentiment from people. Noone seems to like the hot weather. Everyone wants to be out of the heat it seems like. This is kind of weird. One of the most common things I hear from Canadians is how much they enjoy summer. Out of season, everyone talks about how excited they are for the heat and the summer. And now it's summer, and finally, it's hot. It isn't that hot. It's 85 degrees. That's May in some places. I bet we'll have 2-3 weeks of 85 weather, and it'll start going down again.

I had an awesome time in the sun today. I soaked it up.

It was my Mom's 52nd birthday today. I had a great time with family and friends over steak and drinks tonight. It was super relaxed. I'm happy that my parents are as chill as they are. Life is really easy when I go over there.

Soccer tryouts continue tomorrow night, and I'm changing things up a little bit. I'm going to make examples of the fit guys, and punish the guys who aren't fit enough. Unfortunately for them, none of them are fit enough for me. So we're going to run.

I work a bunch this week, and housesit this weekend. I have soccer tryouts and a bachelor party on Friday night. I also have a wedding on Saturday (not connected to the stag), so it's going to be a fun and busy week.

'Don't worry, you will find the answer if you let it go

Give yourself some time to falter'

Heart Songs

No Doubt was good. I was impressed, but not surprised that they put on a good show. I may or may not be going to another show before July is out. Blink 182 is coming to Vancouver on the same night as my mom's birthday. I guess I'll see how that plays out this week.

Not much going on in the next few days before wednesday. Tryouts start on wednesday, and that's kind of winding me up right now. I'll be prepared when the time comes though, and I'm happy with that.

Work is continuing to pick up at both my jobs. I don't really have many plans for August yet, so that might be a good opportunity to get lots of work in. There's not really much I like to talk about when it comes to work, but I might be in for a promotion at the Conference Center. Kind of neat I guess. I've never had a promotion before, which sounds kind of silly.

That's about it. It's a monday. My hotel sucked in vancouver. I'm loving music these days.

'I gotta admit, sometimes I would listen to the radio'

Settle For Nothing

Good days.

Summer is going pretty well so far. It hasn't been flying by like it has in years past. That being said, it might be kind of a tight squeeze to fit in all the stuff I want to do in the next few months.

I went downtown last night with some friends, and I hadn't been out since early June. I pile of us went to a new lounge called level 2, and it was pretty fun - but I don't really feel the need to go out more than once every 6 weeks. It was great to hang out with some old friends though. I'd put away a few friends that I didn't really care to see again, and I had a great time with them last night. Go figure.

I'm heading over to the mainland with Jen later on to go see No Doubt and Paramore. It's always nice to get away, even if it's just to Vancouver. It feels like a mini vacation. We scored some free ferry tickets, which is a sweet hookup. I love that Jen is a total hookup for ferry and concert tickets. Is that bad thing?

In a funny turn of events, my roommate is kind of worrying me. I hope she's going to be alright. She is having a tough time understanding why I don't like her dog pissing all over my stuff. I guess I'm am kind of out of line, wanting my living space to be clean of animal urine. I hope she understands pretty soon. It's getting kind of gross. I suppose if she handles it, everything is all good around my house. I think that people tend to forget that taking care of their own business is always a better policy than having someone else take care of it.

I'm super glad I'm not hung over today. It sucks travelling and feeling shitty. I might recap the show tomorrow when I get home. Then again, I might go golfing.

Have a good weekend.

'Before you hedge those bets you placed against me,

Be reticent of fortunes they foretell'

The Fiddle For The Drum

Holy shit I'm tired! I worked super hard yesterday and today, and ran ~20k in between. My legs hate me...

I jumped back into work this week after taking a little too much time off. It's nice to be going forward, rather than watching my bank account shrink. I'm going to be spending some time doing some flooring with jeff in the next few weeks, as he's pretty slammed for jobs. I also got back into the conference center today for a shift, and wound up picking up a bunch of shifts when a full timer up and quit today - in the middle of his shift. Hey! That's my move!

This weekend I'm going to see No Doubt and Paramore in vancouver. Pretty much the best July on record. Better than last July, that's for sure. I'm also trying to clarify a camping trip on the last weekend of this month, and that would be pretty sick to get going. I know of like 5 guys that want to go camping/hiking on the Juan De Fuca trail, and I can hopefully get at least a few to commit to the same sched. I was worried about numbers the last time I went camping, and wound up getting blown away by the turnout. Fingers crossed.

My trip to Whistler was pretty incredible last weekend, mostly because I just didn't do much in a place that I love. I mean, the three of us (my bro, his roommate Wes, and me) did a pile of little stuff, but it was super nice to chill in whistler. I got absolutely murdered at Scrabble, by like 150 points. Over a three game match I got a win in, but my soul was pretty crushed by the 330-180 score in game 1. Maybe the jagermeister was fucking with my breadth of vocabulary.

Tryouts start next wednesday, and I'm super nervous. I know I won't be making the picks on my own, but the president is throwing me under the bus a little bit with the structure of the tryouts. Everyone trying out for the Div1 team is in one tryout, and the rest of the players trying out for the other 3 teams - including the team I'm coaching - are lumped together in one tryout. Which is a little cramped. And of course I'm running the tryout on my own. I mean, I know it's a club (everything said and done is "for the club" it seems), but I feel really restricted in the creation of my team. Hopefully things go well, and hopefully this isn't foreshadowing into what could become a really frustrating situation.

Work tomorrow, No Doubt saturday, golf sunday, tryouts wednesday. Go go go. Wanna go golfing?

'What are you waiting for?

A certain shade of green?'

King For A Day

Wow it's been a while here.

I was really close to blogging a few times over the last few weeks, but I was in an angry mood every time and just wanted to whine and bitch, so I didn't bother. Although the last few weeks have been really fun and busy, I was angry and frustrated a lot along the way. Whatever.

I'm up in Whistler for the weekend, and life is pretty good up here. We watched UFC100 last night, and that was the only thing really scheduled for my time up here. I'm coming home tomorrow, and I don't really know what we're doing in the meantime. It's perfect.

Not much else is new with me. Summer is going pretty well weather wise - which means I'm playing a ton of volleyball, golf, soccer, tennis, disc golf, etc. It's nice to be active rather than sitting on my computer in my spare time.

My weekends are filling up pretty fast this summer. Last weekend I went to greenday in vancouver, and next weekend I'm going to no doubt. Things go good when my life is eventful.

Anyway, enough of talking about the good life. I'm going to the driving range.

Entourage starts tonight. Best show ever, by the way.

Have a good time, wherever and whenever your weekend is.

'I'm a ticking time bomb
waiting to blow my top'

Massive Nights

Hey Michael Jackson died.

I feel different about someone after I learn that they have died. I didn't particularly like Jackson, nor did I like his music much. But now that he has died, I can't help but look at his life as a whole, and the influence he had on what I might consider mainstream media. He was obviously bigger than music. Anyway, I was disappointed to hear about the news today. He'll have a hell of a legacy. I wonder if his funeral will be similar to Princess Diana's. We will see.

Not much else is really noteworthy. I'll be laid off from one of my jobs on June 30th. That's kinda neat.

Some people just don't get it. I have a major rant inside me, but I just don't really feel like spending the time, especially since right now I have a date on the volleyball court. But some people just don't get it. Maybe I'll crank some eminem. Apparently he gets it.

'But seriously'

Constant Knot

It's been a long week.

Happy fathers day daddy-o. And happy fathers day to my bro as well. First one. We had a fun day together today. I'm really enjoying family time with everyone again. I don't remember the last time I thought that way.

My week was really productive and fun. I played a ton as usual. God I love summer for that. We're getting a badminton net up in the backyard pronto tonto. I also ran into a bunch of old faces today. It brought back some pretty crazy memories. People from my past that I missed, people I didn't care to ever see again, and people who I'd completely forgotten about.

Other than being busy, not too much is new or exciting.

Home isn't as good as it was when I first moved in. I need to iron out a few kinks, like I was sure I would have to. It's weird after living with the same people for so many years, to switch it up. I guess I had expectations that I should have checked at the door. But I'm happy where I'm at, and I have no doubts that I'll continue to be happy.

After seeing people today, I've been in a really nostalgic mood. I can't get people off my mind for some reason. Not in a bad way, but I can't help feel sometimes that I forgot about a lot of friends along the last 7 years since high school. It's strange to revisit, because I just don't really do that.

Haha, oh well. I feel like I'm rambling now. This week keeps the ball rolling. I work, I play, I do my thing. I've been in optimism mode the last few weeks. Home will be good, friends will be friends, and I'll be the busy kid I need to be.

Thanks for reading.

'I hope you'll take it
I know you're faking just a little bit'

Famous Last Words

Shot wayy too high today at golf. Just when I thought my game was coming along. I was so optimistic and in a great mood, then I started my round off with two triples.

Couldn't have been that bad a Saturday though, right? Spending time in the sun with the boys? It was super hot out there today as well. It was pretty amusing being on the course and watching the guys seek out shade like they search the fridge for the last beer.

Last night was pretty epic. First BBQ of the season. And we degen'd pretty hard last night downtown. There were gaps in my night that were pretty funny to hear about today. I don't really need to go into detail. Not one of my prouder nights. Lots of fun though. I don't remember why, but I remember catching a cab home 6 blocks away from the club. Did we try to run home as far as we could to save cab fare? I don't get it.

Tomorrow I have a banquet with Nanaimo United. I need to seriously start discussing the coming season with the board members. If I'm coaching an important team in the club, I need to know quickly how much freedom I have to operate. It kind of sucks because I know the president has an agenda. He plans on having me coach a top flight team, yet plucking players away from me whenever he feels the need to. He won't need to wait long to find out how I feel about that. FUCK THAT - that's how I feel. Haha, look at me getting me protective of my boys already. His (the prez) idea is that I keep my players healthy, so when other (less important) teams need guys, he just takes them from my team. That's kind of strange to me. I guess I need to learn how a club works.

Anyway, still on soccer, this is what I have to maintain in my first year of coaching in the U21 graduate league:

Last season's stats
Wins: 15
Losses: 0
Ties: 1
Goals For: 54
Goals Against: 2
Goal Rating: 27.00
Team with the next highest rating: Cowichan U21 (3.21)

That's it. Tomorrow I keep on rolling with the summer that has been amazing so far.

'This train don't stop there anymore'

Everybody Wake Up

Friday!

I have a long weekend this week, and plan to take full advantage. I had to work last night, and I missed out on some fun. Until yesterday, I had never had five different friends call to want to do something. I missed out on volleyball, golf, and whatever else. I don't mind. I have a long weekend right?

I am super stoked on two new albums. The new Green Day disc, and the new DMB album just came out, and I can't get enough of either. Maybe I'm excited because I get to see both bands this summer. I can't wait.

Today I'm catching up with my dad and running a few errands. I'm getting a business license today, so I can start proposing business and revenue sharing with the city. It's exciting and scary at the same time. That, and I get a new BBQ today. Well, new to me. My parents are downsizing, and need someone to take a big ass BBQ off their hands. OK!

So tonight we're obviously BBQ'ing.

I'm keeping track of how much money I spend on alcohol this summer. I don't really know why, but I want to look back at the end and shake my head for some reason. It's off to a pretty rocky start. I had a fun end to my May, lets just keep it at that.

I hope you have as good a weekend as I hope to have. Go Pens! And lakers too, I suppose.

'And there were so many fewer questions when stars were still just the holes to heaven'

Time Bomb

I wish I could have posted at least once since the 1st. Too many great things have been going on that I would have liked to written about in a little more detail.

Friday was probably a top 5 day in the history of my existence. It was just about as good as it gets. I golfed 18 holes at a short course, disc golfed 18 holes, and played volleyball with my pals until it was too dark to see the ball. We played so much. We then went out and had fun. Come midnight though, my magic run of a day ended, and I turned back into a pumpkin. Oh well.

This week has lots of work involved, just like last week. I have one sort of complaint about my new job at the city. My supervisor (or whatever she is to me) is really professional/verbose in her discussions my me about work. As a result, I'm really unclear about what expectations are of me, and I find myself really confused about what she wants me to do.

Friday is payday, and it's going to be a solid one, for probably the first time this year.

I had a tennis lesson the other day with Blake, and it was really neat to learn as much as I did. It was so useful, and I can't wait to get back on the court.

Well, I gotta get moving so I can get to work on time. Have a good week, and thanks for reading.

'Sit back and breathe
It's nice to know you work alone'

Peacemaker

I'm going to see Green Day! I'm pretty excited. I loved their show in 2005, and swore I'd see them again if they came. Well July 4th is that day, and Jen has hooked up comped passes. Very sweet.

Last few days I've been super busy with work. I work tomorrow night, but I'm getting a lake day in first. My last lake day was almost 3 weeks ago, and I'm still peeling from the sun burn. I'll be running in the a.m., and hitting the lakeshore right after. Can't wait. It's supposed to hit 25-30° tomorrow, so bring it.

Couple more shout outs. Not that I missed any last time around. But it was a busy day for my friends today.

Congratulations to my high school pal Heather, who just gave birth to her first child. I can't say that would compare to very many days in one's life. I'm pretty excited for her.

Also, a pile of my friends from Uni graduated today. I don't want to try to name all my friends for fear of forgetting anyone. But I wanted to name a few. Jaci and Connor were long time friends of mine at school. I went through athletics, academics, and extra curric's with both, and they both made school so amazing. Congrats guys. You worked hard.

That must mean it's a year today since I graduated. I don't really want to spend any time evaluating what I've done in the last year, I'll save that for late december.

Anyway. Busy week for not just me.

'You are your own worst enemy
Know your enemy'

Imitation Of Life

I got home from work in a mood.

So I sat at my computer like I usually do and put on my music. I started at the 32's tonight. I have a list of songs sorted on how many times I've played them. So I started with the songs I've played 32 times. I was just going to surf the net and zone out, and this R.E.M. song came on.

Now, I feel like writing, and I feel like listening to a pile of R.E.M. It was a totally weird transition. I just stopped what I was doing, and opened solitaire - it's what I do when all I want to do is listen to music.

Something about R.E.M., I don't really get it. It isn't music I really like, but I just get super hooked on a half dozen songs of theirs. I'm glad no ones home to bitch about the loud music.

Anyway, I just conquered solitaire vegas in like 2 tries, so I put that down, and picked this up.

I had a great weekend. My week is super busy ahead of me. I want to really bank this month so I can get off to a great July. So far I'm planning on going to whistler July 8-13, and seeing No Doubt and Paramore on the 18th.

I feel so ADHD right now. The words haven't glued to this page so fast in 6 months. I feel like I could yammer on for eternity.

I won't. Have a good week, and thanks for reading.

Oh wait. Couple shout outs. Congrats to Jen, for banking a sweet raise. Not a bad time of year at all for it. Also big ups to my boy Blake. Great dinner last Friday, and a big happy birthday his way. He's a pretty cool kid.

Lata.

'This lightning storm, this tidal wave, this avalanche, I'm not afraid'

High Speed

I laid in the sun today and suntanned with a book. Need anymore evidence? I had a good day.

I have a good balance of work and play again. It was a good week for work, and the next two look as good or better. I'm flooring again now that Jeff is back in business. I'm bartending lots this week with a week long conference at the VICC. And I might pick up a shift for the city. After getting hired on last week, some excitement really sank in. I may very well be able to get a long term position with the city. I've never had any kind of real stability with any job I've held. Kind of a weird sense of security.

So I'm booking up weekends for my summer, and it's going to be busy as hell. I've got trips to make, shifts at work to promise, and weddings to go to. I want to repeat a lot of things from last summer, which is kind of weird. I like going random new places in the summer. Maybe some old favorites are just too good to pass up. I'm definitely going to Washington in september again, and I'm definitely going to whistler again in july or august. Going back to the Gorge for my birthday on Labour day long weekend is going to be the nut.

That's all long-ish term plans. My plans for this weekend are all about relaxing. I want to get my book done tomorrow or the next day in the sun. Tomorrow night is going to be all about good times. Try and get some unpacking and some bass playing in sometime in the next few.

I need some new music. I'm wearing out my stuff pretty quick here and need some ideas. What do you think?

'There's a car waiting, to take me to something'

Pride

I've been reading a little bit about pride. It's a funny thing in my opinion. It's really strange actually.

It's either a virtue, or a sin. It's heavily written about, for a long time, and they still can't figure out if it's a good thing or not.

I have an opinion on pride that I want to share. First I want to explain myself, instead of just digging a hole. I am not overly (or overtly) proud at all. And that isn't selling myself short. Sure, everyone does things of magnitude. But I'm not super proud of my appearance or my abilities (whatever that means). I'm also not a person of low self esteem - I prefer humility.

My opinion is that too many people who let their pride flow freely tend to cross the line into arrogance. Take the hockey playoffs. I was so embarrassed when the canucks lost. Not because they lost, but because people I know are so arrogant. I'm embarrassed to be around people who act arrogant. More so when they don't realize it.

Back tracking a little bit, I understand the grey area that pride and arrogance creates. I didn't grow up naturally confident, but at 24, I'm fairly confident in what I do. But I'm on the good side of the line. I don't demand respect from people like arrogant people do. I also don't give respect to everyone automatically, but that isn't the same (in my opinion).

I think a problem I may have is that people see pride as an important trait to have. That really isn't logical to me. I think the most ironic form of pride I've ever seen was in my former soccer coach. He was far too proud of German soccer, and proud of Germany in general. Ironic because of Germany's views on pride.

I'm not going to get on any friends for ever being arrogant. That's not really my business, unless it becomes my business.

Bedtime. I had to think too hard to write that. It took like two hours.

Whatever Gets You Through The Night

I'm pretty sure summer kicked itself in almost overnight. While shorts season for me starts very early - I wore shorts to LA in March, and haven't looked back since - wearing flip-flops is my sign that summer is here. And I'm rocking the flippie floppies straight time.

So I start a new job tonight. Not really a job, but some contract work I'm doing for the city. Blake, thanks for the hook-up bud. Seriously, where would we be without hook-ups??

I'm also going to the movies tonight! Woo exciting, right? I think the last movie I saw in the theatre may have been the dark knight. So it's an event for me.

I moved all my big stuff, and am now living at my new place. I have a few more boxes of stuff to move, and that should get done on sunday I figure. I also have a bunch of cleaning at my old house to do. With work, the movies, moving, and poker tomorrow night, it should be a busy and fun weekend.

Here I go.

'I got to stop wishin', I've got to go fishin'

Be Somebody

Wow what a weekend.

I went camping at sproat lake for 2 nights over the long weekend. There were 9 of us that went, and it was a blast. The forecast called for rain all weekend, but we didn't even get a drop. So we floated on the lake, made a massive fire, and basically drank everything in sight. It was a really relaxed weekend.

It was a nice intro to what should be a great summer. I think moving is going to do wonders for my summer. I'll have a backyard again, with enough room to play bocce and bbq. It's close to Long Lake, and I can foresee lots of lake days.

So yeah, everything is all good. This week I plan to move the bulk of my stuff. It's going to be amazing to have a decent amount of room and storage space at my new place. Other than moving, and working later on this week, I don't have much going on. There might be a big buy-in limit hold'em game on Saturday night, and it'll be the first live limit game I've ever played. Blake and I are sharing some action, so it won't be totally breaking the bank. It's probably going to be 2/4$ limit, and I'm used to 0.10/0.20$ no limit. Should be interesting...

Anyway, thanks for reading. Should be a relaxing, easy week. Hope yours is similar.

'With some luck I might just keep on climbing'

The Runner

Haha. I make myself laugh sometimes.

Flashback to October 15, 2008. I said: "I did the 16 hour voting thing yesterday. It really sucked Mike. Never do it again."

Well yesterday was the Provincial election, and I came back for more. I went to Chemainus to work at it. I was another 6am-10pm gong show. I suppose the need for money out-did the need to be sane. It wasn't so bad this go around. Me and Jen rocked it together at the same table, and it was bearable.

Anyway. It's the long weekend in like 2 days. Yessss. We've been talking about camping all month, and we finally have a plan. We're going camping, fishing, quadding at sproat lake. Only the warmest lake around. Should be a blast. And the forecast tells me it'll rain on me all weekend. Sa-weet.

So far there's 3.5 campers. Which is kind of weak. I'd rather like 5-7.

So I'm kind of going crazy about a few things. I'm not really working enough, and it's kind of frustrating because I have so much time to think about not working. There's some work on the horizon, it's just not here right now. What else makes me crazy? I guess everything probably stems from that. I would like to spend some money on something I don't need. That'd be fun.

Ok so nothing else is really going on. OH YEAH. The Canucks are out. They went on a super awesome run since like February. It was a blast to watch, and I'm not unhappy that hockey season is over for me. I'm glad Landon finally won a bet - as he's been betting against the Canucks since October. So good for you bud. But at the same time, I'm also glad he lost as much money as he did. You were a bit of a retard with those bets. 

'It's a beautiful world for you'

Down In It

Oh man. Having a week.

I have probably 20 cool parts of my week. Maybe I'll do a run-on sentence and then move onto interesting things in my next paragraph. I'm moving and packing my stuff up already, even though June 1st is the day... I'm playing plenty of tennis, and still sucking... I'm playing plenty of chess, and still sucking... It was great to see Jody and all my relatives that came out this week... I'm loving hockey right now, but it's weird watching hockey during daylight hours... I started reading 'The Road', and it's dark and hell is hot... I'm super busy this weekend, including work/fight night/ road trip/ canucks game/ mother's day. Whew.

*Insert paragraph that people give a damn about*

Haha. Riiight. Give Silversun Pickups a whirl. Their new album 'Swoon' was much anticipated by myself, and is an early candidate for album de l'annee. Band of Horses, Thornley, and Frightened Rabbit are also pretty hot right now on Miker's playliust. I'm leaving that typo, as a playlust is a reference I may start using.

I'm probably listening to like 40-50 songs a day. That's a little excessive, even for me. Other than that, I'm not doing much with my freetime, except what I listed above. May long I'm hoping to go camping. There's no plan yet, but there's lots of hype, and camping pretty much sells itself.

Have a good weekend. I doubt if I'll update before next week. While I feel bad for not blogging more, I'm really happy to be at my computer less.

'Coming back for even more of exactly the same'

Still On My Brain

I have a board game for you.

It's a good one, but it's pretty tough. I've played around 2,500 games over like 15 years, probably more than 95% of people. But I'm really not so good at it. I think maybe I just don't get it. I get the rules and stuff, but it's not really like monopoly where you go the same way around the board every time. It's like monopoly with no directions, and only jail and free parking. Good move and it's free parking, bad and you're in jail. No chance or ventnor.

Anyway, I'm trying really hard to figure it out. And the problem is that I find it to be a really good judge of general intellect. Well, that isn't the problem. The problem is that I kind of suck, and it kind of means that I'm not really that smart. I mean, after 25 hundred games I should almost have it.

The game rewards or punishes the use of the 2 things:

• Observation and evaluation skills
• Making long and short term decisions

After a lifetime of playing sports with people who 'will never be good' - you know the ones I mean (I'm not trying to be a prick) - I'm one of those people now! I've read books, watched documentaries, and spent a life playing this awesome game. And I'm not giving up! I'm just really jealous of people who 'get it', and I wish I could.

So yeah. You go try it, and get good. I'm gonna keep trying to make a monopoly - hopefully the yellow ones...

Oh and it's chess.

'I'm taking it slow

feeding my flame

shuffling the cards of your game'

Surrounded

Ahh the sunshine is here. And it's finally warm.

In my spare time this summer I really want to accomplish a few sports related things. I want to get really good at tennis, and I have to learn to coach. One's a 'want to' and one's a 'have to'. But both should be a blast.

Me and Blake are going to play a bunch of tennis this summer, and we're both looking forward to getting good at another sport. He's the racquet expert, so I'm with the right company. I think that's the key to learning stuff. Surround myself with good company.

The same is going to apply with my coaching situation. I'm going to be coaching an elite team, and right now I can't provide elite coaching. Which isn't cool. So between now and August I'm going to surround myself with the company of good coaches around town. I have a bunch of contacts, and I can't wait to pick their brains.

Anyway, I'm off to the tennis courts!

Have a good week.

'Coming back for even more of the same?'

Get Out Alive

I'm not usually a fan of mainstream, cliched rock. Bands like Nickelback, Theory of a Deadman, and U2 just don't do it for me. But I really like Three Days Grace, even though I'd classify their sound in the same class. Especially this song.

Working at prom on Saturday night was awesome. The most fun I've had at work in a long time. That, combined with my spring cleaning of old photo's, and I've been feeling nostalgic for like a week. It's kinda fun! Not that it was always good times, but I really miss the old days sometimes. Yet things are really good right now.

I'm kind of switching up the way I use the internet. I changed all the blogs I read except 1 or 2 (of like 10 maybe), and now I have a whole new slew of 'cool' people to learn about. I also changed to isohunt from torrentz, and I'm loving the switcheroo so far.

This week is quieter than this weekend. My cousin, my uncle, my brother, my oma, and my nephew are coming for a visit. It's not a reunion at all. Really. But it's gonna be a blast. I can't wait to see everyone.

Oh yeah. I totally forgot, and I keep forgetting. I'm moving. Not until June 1st, but it's close to me. I'm really excited for the change. I moved into this house in September 2005, so it's been a little while in the ghetto. I'll miss some things around here. But then, there's a ton of reasons to be nothing but excited. I'm moving away from Jer, and in with JC. He has a house across town, and it's exactly where I want to be.

So that's that. Thanks for reading.

'I spent a life time knocking round
the same old patch of concrete'

Straight Lines

About to head to work. I like saying that, but I haven't been doing it enough. I really need to find more consistent work. Or maybe, I need to stop being lazy about things. Haha.

So a bunch of people in my life are getting married soon. It's a strange reality that I knew I'd face sooner or later. This summer and next, not to mention a couple last summer, marriages are getting to be pretty common in my circle. I mean, I'm really proud of my friends and brother for making the move. That's not it. I feel like I'm nowhere close to that sort of thing. And I can't help but feel like there's something wrong with that. I know it's my thing - but that isn't overly reassuring.

I'm excited to work behind the bar tonight. I get along good with people. After spending most of my day being mopey, I'm excited to interact with people.

The weekend is fast approaching. It doesn't really mean anything to me anymore. I have like 4-5 days off every week anyway. But more things happen on a weekend, so here's hoping I can cash in on some of it.

Anyway. My blog has been nothing short of a total snooze lately. I just don't have it. I've been doing really neat, new things in the last few weeks. Or months. It's just really hard to try to make anything sound significant on here anymore. I don't understand. My life was pretty similar last October, yet I found 17 entries, most of which didn't suck. It's hard to find a decent one in my last 17. Not like it's going to make me stop writing, it's just a half assed apology towards the reader. It'll get better!

Now go do something! It's sunny outside!

'Lately I'm a desperate believer'

Tusk

Good week.

Lots has been going on. First and foremost, Landon moved out for the summer. That really says it all. I'm down to one roommate for now. It's going to be a lot quieter around the house.

I played tennis and saw Thornley on Monday. It was a pretty good match, and a really good show. I need to work on my forehand I think. If I keep playing ball all summer with Blake, I think I can really get decent.

I've been in contact with the head of Nanaimo soccer, and I've expressed my interest in coaching a soccer team next season. So we met today, and I'm the future coach of the U21 team, which is on the more elite side of soccer in this city. Which excites me. I get to hold tryouts, hire a manager, etc. It's gonna be really cool I think.

I went through all my stored boxes today, deciding what to keep and what to turf. I am keeping roughly 5% of everything I accumulated between the ages of 10 and 20. Some photos, a book or two, and that's really it. I was pretty nostalgic all day because of it. I miss the way things were sometimes.

'You could waste your time in the sunshine every day'

Better Than Oh

Oh boy. I've been angry many times today. I guess what I would call 'stupid stuff' in hindsight, probably wasn't stupid at the time.

I thought about myself being angry all day. I just seemed to keep getting angry at things, people, situations. It led me to a hypothesis.

The Illusion of Common Sense

I guess I've spent years experiencing people, situations, and things; to the point where I assume some sort of basic common sense out of people. Wrong, wrong, wrong. This mistake is why I get angry 95% of the time. And I'm practicing to get out of that trend, now that I realize it.

There's lots of examples where you can assume common sense in people. Driving, communicating, etc. Throw common sense out the window. It's dead.

I always enjoyed learning virtues in grade school, but I can't remember learning prudence. Ahh prudence. Exercising sound judgment in practical affairs. First, throw out your expectations of what people consider practical affairs. Your and my opinion of that differs so widely. I think that's where I get angry. What I consider a practical affair is definitely not for some people. Like parking your car at Wallmart. You drive everyday, you park every day, you practice communication with other drivers every day. So parking at Wallmart should be a practical affair. Then the universe reminds me that so many people are not prudent. "ieurtwhgufhadfgdfgkjgfn fuck you", says the universe.

That's just an example. I'm not angry because I went to Wallmart too many times this week.

So I'm working hard to not expect common sense of people. I would rather someone shock me by acting prudent, than becoming angry by the vice versa. Common sense is an illusion to me now. It isn't actually real. Was it ever?

* * * * *

Ok, I'm over that. It's just - it isn't that easy. Write about it, understand it, and boom - I should be done being angry. I'm just not. Expecting less out of people is quite the undertaking.

Also, I don't deal with anger really well. Well, maybe better than... oh. Better than some. But I stay angry for too long. I'm glad I don't get angry often. It pretty much fucked up my day today.

Well, tomorrow. And tomorrow. And tomorrow.... It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

'But she doesn't know that I left my urge in the icebox'

Snakecharming The Masses

God. I need to write more.

How was your week? I was pretty much MIA last week, with housesitting and stuff. I haven't slept in my own bed since I posted last I think. Regardless, great week. 

There's a lot going on these days, but when is there ever not? Here's what's most significant to me.

My dad has only 2 weeks of medication left. He's been on 5-a-day pegetron and 1-a-week interferon for the last 46 weeks. Let's just say it was a hell of a year for him. It was a happy birthday for him yesterday, and I can't begin to imagine the May he'll have. I always knew that my dad would fight any opposing force. It's just proof that the boy has game.

I'm having a really good time these days. And that doesn't really include working that much. So in essence, the good times are killing me. Who said that? With tennis, hikes, and other adventures, it's pretty much the life right now.

Oh yeah. My bud gets back in a few days. He's been on sabbatical for almost 5 months, and he's gonna be my best friend again on Wednesday. Fucking rights. I miss the good ol' days of, you know, like Nov '08.  

This week I keep on rolling. Housesitting ends. Playoffs begin. Landon moves away. Saul moves home. I play I work I sing I dance I steal things. lol.

Have a good week. Oh and Britney, you're a tool. I love watching people like you, do what you do.

'While I waited, I was wasting away.'

Homecoming

Do you ever crave something, but don't know what it is you want? I have that, but like on a big scale. I really want to figure it out now.

Things are busy right now. I like that. I feel like a had the perfect day today, and I didn't waste any of it. (Side note - blogger.com tells me that "didn't" is misspelled. It's annoying.)

Well, for the first time in almost 9 months, I have to be up at 6am to work. Probably coincides with the fact that I haven't been to bed before midnight in 9 months. Tonight it'd take a bottle of wine and an hour on the treadmill to break that streak. I'm buzzin.

Not much of note going on besides 1) I'm busy; and 2) being busy is gooood.

So there's thing on youtube called The Obama Deception, and it "destroys the myth that Barack Obama is working for the best interests of the American people." Lol. Of course, I don't even give a tagline like that a chance. I didn't watch it. I just passed judgement that it's propaganda from opposition (republican losers). It took me a day before I started asking questions about myself. I've decided that I'm gonna watch it, then make a new opinion.

Maybe I'll do that tonight...

Have a good weekend. Hopefully your saturday night is a little more earth shattering.

'This could be the very minute...'

Fool In The Rain

Ahh April.

I have plans for like the next 4 days, which is really good for me these days. Normally I wake up and don't know where my afternoon is gonna take me. I work lots in the next few days, and I start house-sitting on Sunday for like 8 days.

Oh! I re-discovered my bass guitar. I had put it down for most of march. The boys were pretty busy with school since spring break, and we haven't practiced more than a few times. Anyway, I started listening to some really hard, bass-heavy rock, and I was really stoked to learn a bunch of it on bass. And now I can't get over 'The Mars Volta' and how cool their bass is in some songs. I try to act like a guitar god sometimes when nobody's home. I crank it up, and just rock out. And then I always laugh at myself, 'cause that's just silly.

So I had soft hands again after not playing bass for a month. Now my hands are thrashed, and my fingers throb. It's really weird that I can't develop long term callouses. Oh well. I think if there is one characteristic about me that doesn't suit my life in the least, it's my stupid soft hands.

My stream of consciousness is everywhere these days. If I just jump everywhere when I blog, it's because my typing can't keep up with my brain.

I was a fool in the rain this week. I'm not going to say why. But I was. Then I was searching for a description in my head while I was walking today, and Led Zeppelin randomly came on my ipod. There it is. That's what I was the other day. A fool in the rain. That piano never made so much sense.

I don't really have much more to say. There's lots more going on, but my head is swirling like it usually is. I can't process anything worth writing about.

So have a good weekend. If it's sunny for you, then shine on. If it's raining, then cheer up, or enjoy being a fool in the rain.

'Now I will stand in the rain'

Vicarious Atonement

Yo.

It's been a long 8 days since I was last on here. I've spent very little time on my computer, but that's not really my excuse. It's been nice to not be in front of the screen so much. I've been hiking, playing football and tennis, and partying maybe a little too hard.

It's officially spring, and the weather has been amazing. Trouble is, I stop and wonder where the winter went. I have done essentially nothing in 2009. Three months either crawled or flew by, but I feel like my year hasn't even started yet. Maybe the most disturbing part is that I don't really care. I'm having a tough time getting motivated when I feel like I'm unlucky. Maybe that doesn't make sense, but it does to me.

I have a couple job postings to get on, and I'm starting to get motivated at last. I wanna make some money!

Anway, the excitement level of my March is not very high. Here's to a solid April. I have some goals that I want to accomplish, and here I go.

'Never heard a man speak like this man before'

Hate This Place

Wow. I just haven't been in the mood to write this month.

It's strange. I usually get excited about blogging. For some reason I just don't feel like I have anything worth writing about. Which is not accurate at all. I have lots going on, and it's just as exciting/boring as it always is. Here goes anyway. I have no idea what the next paragraph is going to sound like.

Even though I'm not in school anymore, I have this need to learn stuff. Whenever I hear of something I don't know about, I can't wait to get home and learn about it. This week I learned about Josef Fritzl. That fucker is sick. Interesting story when you think deeply about those children, but for face value - whoa.

Next up is clinical depression. I can honestly say that I know nothing about that. I'm pretty skeptical that medication does a large proportion of suffering people any good. And I'm probably wrong. I need to go learn about that. I hate being in a conversation about anything and not knowing at least something.

Last entry I blasted people who try to tell me way something is, without any knowledge whatsoever. Well there's times that I do that, and it bugs me. Like depression. I have the idea that it's a pseudo-disorder/disease, and that people should just 'snap out of it'. Obviously I should go figure it out before I say that to someone.

'I don't need the fallout'

The Argument

Google Scholar is good for a start.

An old instructor of mine used to demand of us what got him through his PhD. He'd say, "show me the fucking data."

I like that, and it wasn't just because I liked him. I like the principle. In every discipline of thought, there needs to be some sort of evidence to produce/prove an argument. That goes for History, English, Geography, Psychology, etc. I'm not making an opinion on this issue, it's the way it is.

Anyway, I'm really sick of people telling me how something is, without any shred of evidence. Last night it came to a head. A friend was taking a side of a really interesting issue, but he was failing to use his brain. He was reciting what he'd heard on TV or read in a Men's Health mag. Why do people believe everything they hear!? Why can't people question things, and go find out the answer for themselves!?

It didn't get to an argument last night, it was more of a discussion. But I also find that when younger people have intelligent conversations, opposing viewpoints are taken too personally, and the discussion degenerates into a defensive back-and-forth.

What we were arguing over doesn't matter I don't think. For the purposes of what I'm talking about right now, my side of the issue doesn't matter either (right or wrong). I'm just astonished at the weight someone can put on air. That's what his argument was based on. Thin air.

I guess it boils down to a complex thing called 'critical thinking'. Where did you hear about that? Is there any other side of the issue worth considering? Did you think about anything at all for more than 5 seconds? Or did you hear the trendy phrases that we all love (i.e. '_____ causes cancer'), and run with it?

Critical thinking is the careful, deliberate determination of whether we should accept, reject, or suspend judgment about a claim and the degree of confidence with which we accept or reject it.

Two last points. I think I use the term 'astonished' too much. I really shouldn't be. Second, I accept the excuse that someone might not know where begin when exploring data in search of the truth about an issue.

Google Scholar is a good start.

'Maim me, tame me, you can never change me'

Day and Night

I'm back in town.

What a week. I got back from California on Friday afternoon. It was a really long drive back. We covered more than 5000km's in those few days. It was totally worth it though. The 4 travel buddies I didn't know turned out to be really cool.

It's hard for me to explain what happened, and what was good, in anything short of a book. So I won't bother. It was a really good time, and I'm super happy to be home.

Now I have a number of things to do. I'm pretty broke now that my vacation is over, so that's probably the first priority.

What else? Not much is new. I might post a few pics from the trip up here, but I'm not sure. The coolest sight was definitely the orange trees. I guess I don't get out much.

'Got me California dreamin'

Dirty Little Secret

I'm going to California.

Phew. I can say that I almost decided not to go. There were a lot of things that came up. Actually, we're supposed to get going tonight, but issues are still coming up. Anyway, I sort of secured my end, and I'm happy enough with the crew I'm going down with.

There are 6 of us going. I only know Jeff, and neither of us know the other 4 guys. Here's hoping that works out.

All I've been doing has been working towards that, so there's not much else going on. I had a fun time last night with some new friends, but otherwise I've been sort of trip focused.

I hope I'm back by Friday. I really do. It's going to be a long ass haul to drive 4500 km's in 6 days. And more so with 6 guys in a truck. There's a few things that are very important to make this trip a success. First, alcohol. If I'm hating life, there's an elixir that can change that. Second, regular showers. Four guys I don't know, snuggling me for days in the L.A. heat. I'm gonna want them to be clean.

Otherwise, I'll be back after Friday if we decide to stay/ go to Vegas.

I'll bring pictures.

'I wish I could be
as cool as you'

All Our Days Are Numbered

Pfft I hate the way I do things sometimes.

Today I'm walking, and I go out of my way to take the scenic route to where I'm going. There's awesome tree lines, and the street is just really beautiful. Definitely the nicest looking street in the south end of town. And what do I do? I'm lost in the sidewalk, making sure I don't step on any cracks. What the hell is wrong with me?

I think (no, I know) I have a small obsession with numbers. I spend time thinking, whenever I'm doing something tedious or boring, how I can track myself with numbers in some way. Whether it's counting when I'm listening to music, walking down a street, writing anything down, or working. It's the weirdest thing. I just can't help but set numerical standards while I do something, then keep track of whether I'm meeting/exceeding my expectation. On the half hour walk it took me today, I was probably in number space for 25 minutes.

I put my iPod on shuffle, and skips song, trying to guess the artist of each track. I set a goal/standard of guessing with 80% accuracy. And that stupid, lame, ridiculous game I make for myself passes the time, every time I walk anywhere. I got 23/25 today. I usually get 40-50 tracks in a 30 min walk, but I had a 'Dire Straights' moment, and had to listen to the whole song. Nerdy, right?

Anyway. That's my admission of being hooked on numbers. And I really don't like complicated math that much. Enjoy the 2nd half of the week, and thanks for reading.

'You can't wish me away'

The Bird and The Worm

Busy weekend. I'll probably just leave it at that. I had a really good time.

Looking ahead to my week, I have a few things going on, and I'm sorta hoping more work comes. I need some cashola if I want to make my California trip happen. We're leaving on this sat/sun. Fingers crossed for work...

Speaking of fingers. My hand is healing up nicely. It's just about fully closed now, and I'm not wearing a bandage anymore. I need a medical note to clear me for work, and hopefully I'll get that tomorrow.

What else can I tell you? Life's not exactly where I want it to be right now, but it's pretty damn good. A have a naggy voice in my head telling me to become a personal trainer, and I'm pushing it aside when I shouldn't be. But other than that, and a few other minor push-asides, things are pretty organized, steady, and enjoyable right now.

Maybe I'm drinking too much.

Lastly, congrats to Amanda, who just bought her own place. I'm pretty stoked for her.

'Like clinging to straws while drowning'

Only

I'm becoming less defined, as days go by
Fading away, well you might say I'm losing focus.

Kind of drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself
Sometimes, I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes, I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes, I can see right through myself

Less concerned, about fitting into the world
Your world that is, cause it doesn't really matter anymore
No, it doesn't really matter anymore
None of this really matters anymore

Yes, I am alone, but then again I always was
As far back as I can tell, I think maybe it's because
Because you were never really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself

I just made you up to hurt myself
Yeah, and I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself
Yeah, and I just made you up to hurt myself

And it worked
Yes it did!

When, the tiniest little dot caught my eye
And it turned out to be a scab
And I had this funny feeling
Like I just knew it's something bad

I just couldn't leave it alone
I kept picking at that scab
It was a doorway trying to seal itself shut
But I climbed through

Now I'm somewhere I am not supposed to be
And I can see things I know I really shouldn't see
And now I know why now, now I know why
Things aren't as pretty on the inside

'Only'

Phantom Limb

What does a sore hand, a house/trance play list, and a snow day have in common?

Probably my day.

I wish I had done more with my day. I changed the bandage on my hand, getting the first real look at my wound. Let's just say it's realllly ugly. At least boys like scars.

Landon got up (hung over) this morning, to bring his uncle back home here for a visit. He (the uncle), just came back from Thailand, and he brought back a few turn-tables and a sound system. I learned how to mix tracks and create trance/house music mixes, which may or may not have been more fun if I were sober. Alas, I wasn't, for he also brought back booze, which was quickly consumed. Quick question. If the duty limit is 1 bottle, and you're in Thailand, why would you buy a brand that is also sold in Canada?? Oh well. I can't really complain. I kinda like Stolichnaya anyway.

So my hand was bugging me all day, and I was learning how to DJ. Not at all a conflict. Good thing it was a snow day. Why it randomly snowed 8-10 inches last night, I have no idea.

Whatever else is new, doesn't really matter. I miss Jer (he hasn't been home in a week, and I miss the conversation), and I also miss reading reading break. Not being in school takes it's toll, especially when I'm not really doing anything anyways.

My apologies for blogging while drunk. I don't usually, and tonight I find myself spell-checking like a mofo. I find that BWD (blogging while drunk), may satisfy my need to write, but it really doesn't really show any originality or unique-ness.

I promise that next entry will be more legit., and worth reading.

On a final (and maybe sober) moment, good luck to Blake this weekend. He's in a tough squash tourny, and I hope he makes some upsets happen...

'This town seems hardly worth our time'

Creation Lake

Day off today. I had yesterday off as well, and it was supposed to be my only day off this week. Maybe I shouldn't do stupid things on my day off, that create more days off...

I went quadding yesterday with JC, Landon, and Sam. We went exploring for a while and eventually found a random small lake to have a fire and relax. JC went for a walk on the frozen lake, I made a fire, and Landon helped with the beer consumption. It was a really fun time, even after I hurt myself. I managed to cut my hand pretty bad, and I was really annoyed more than anything else. The rest of the day was just as fun, but I knew that I needed a tetanus shot and stitches as soon as we got home.

Great day off. But like I said, I was pretty pissed at hurting myself. My right hand is outta commission for up to ten days. I can't really even open my hand. Props to the ER guy, who was pretty funny and cleaned me up good. And a big fuck you to the walk-in clinic guy, who dug around in my hand, and couldn't help me. I've gotten stitches at a walk-in before, this guy just seemed like he didn't want to deal with it. Oh well.

That's it for me. Not much else is going on. I'm supposed to be working, and I don't much else planned.

'make the best of what's around'

What A Scene

I've thought about blogging lots in the last week. I probably should have posted a little more, but I really haven't spent much time on a computer recently.

I feel like I just had the busiest week of the year so far. I'm sure when I spell it out, it won't sound like much, but whatever. It was my first week of fulltime work (thank you), and i did a bunch of stuff in between.

This post, as long as it took, is my 200th of this blog. Club two hundy! I was staring at ~190 for eternity it seemed.

Oh! So I have a vacation planned. Before I get into it, I just want to say that it isn't my first choice for a vaycay.But then again, I'm not much of a trip planner, and I'll obv have a good time on this one. A bunch of us are going to L.A. for a few days in mid-march. The details aren't ironed out yet (we ARE boys), but we'll catch at least one canucks game, and go to either disneyland or vegas. And I know, Vegas isn't in L.A.

I'm pretty stoked. Jeff, Josh Hample, and I are in for sure, and we're waiting word on a few other guys. While I haven't hung out with Josh much in the last few years, it'll be our third major roadtrip together. The other two were nothing short of a great time...

Like my last post, I have just tons to talk about that I won't get to. The music I'm listening to, the exercise I'm doing, things I'm loving/hating, the things I've accomplished while ignoring other (more important?) things, etc. I'll just say that I'm doing tons, and I wish I could have posted every day last week to get it all out.

Weird story. The day after our kegger last week, our plumbing wasn't working. Like, we couldn't go to the bathroom, have a shower, do dishes, do laundry, or run water in general. We figured it was a result of the party, because there was just no other explanation. Turns out that the root structure in a tree in the front yard was causing a blockage or something. Anyway. Major work needs to be done there. Anyone have a bobcat that mike can fuck around on in his front yard?

Oh one last thing. I've steered this blog away from basically any sort of argumentative content, and maybe that's why it's gotten boring. I don't really like hearing other people's opinions on my own opinions, because I usually take unnecessary offense. Anyway, I read 5-10 other blogs, and find myself enjoying non argumentative content rather than people taking sides on complex issues. Maybe it's just my nature. I think I'll force myself to write a rant a little more often, just to change things up. Abortion anyone?

I'm pro choice, bitch.

'And when you're looking for truth on the cover of a magazine
How does it feel?
When you found out what you're not going to be'

Untouched

Ahh. Busy few days. Can I tell you about it?

First, My brother was in town with Lochlun, Jody, and her parents this weekend. There was a baby shower on Sunday, and lets just say that some people are pretty generous. Doesn't make me want to have a kid any more than I did before. Now that Lochlun is over a month old, I'm seeing a trend change in people, and I am very happy about it. Over the course of the pregnancy, and during last month after Lochlun was born, people were treating the whole situation like a novelty. Oh kids are fantastic, etc. Then whoever it was, and it was everyone, would turn to me and ask when I was going to follow suit, and have a kid. It was funny at first. It was funny all summer actually. Then it got kind of old, can you imagine?

Oops, two rhetorical questions in one entry.

Sunday night my Oma was taken to hospital, and was diagnosed with having a "T.I.A." or Transient ischemic attack. It's a small stroke, and she had a more serious stroke a few years ago. She's healthier than my only other living grandparent, and it's really sad. I picked up my Oma on Sunday morning from Qualicum to go to the baby shower. On the drive I was grilling her about exercise and staying active, and she mentioned that she felt like she was the healthiest she could possibly be. She walks regularly, and does group exercise no less than 4 days a week with a trainer. Over the last few months, I've talked with and learned more from my Oma than ever before. I really hope she recovers well.

Family health is on the hotstove these days. The last time I lost a family member was in grade 12, and it was pretty hard for me to deal with. In fact, my parents and extended family were sort of offended with the way I acted. For the record, I didn't think I stepped out of line. My Opa had been really sick, and when he died, the men in the family were nominated as pall bearers, and I declined. I dealt with it in my own way, and I obv. meant no disrespect. I really hope the three sick people in my immediate family recover and live several more years.

I could really write lots more about my party, my soccer game, working, etc., but thinking and writing about my Oma kind of took the wind outta my sails.

I'm doing pretty good these days.

'Cocaine cowgirl, she's out catching eyes'

Load Me Up

Happy V-day.

I find valentine's day kind of weird. The single population doesn't really like it, and half the non-single people, mostly guys (IMO), don't give a hoot. I almost feel bad for the people who take vday really serious. I'm an inbetweener I think. It's different every year I guess.

So. Party tonight. The house looks really spic. The drums and P.A. system are outta the house, and now we have tons of 'hanging around' room. I went to work and got a ____ of ice. How is ice measured? Cubic feet, Liters, etc.? I think cubic feet work best, and I figure we have almost a yard of ice. So wayyyy too much. But I got it at noon, and I need it to last 14 hours or so. Me and Landon are the drink hosts, but we'll see how long that lasts.

Anyway, aside from the party, not much is new. I won't mention exciting, because nothing is ever exciting it seems. I have a playoff soccer game tonight, and it's really important. I guess that's exciting to me. I'll probably play a full 90', but mostly because we're short on guys.

I'm going to get back out with Blake next week for a run, and Monday nights are now basketball nights. So soccer tues/thur/sat, basketball mon, and running in there as well. Awesome.

After not really being online for a week, I figured I would have more to say. I miss Saul. We used to hang out lots, and it's created somewhat of a void. He was the only guy I really talked to. Weird. He'll be back in a few months, and we'll catch up like a mofo.

Have a good weekend and all that.

'This time, everything is easy'

Big Egos

It's been a few days since I posted. It's also been a few days since I have been online. Normally when I don't use internet for a few days, It's because I'm away or something. It's weird having normal days, and not being on my computer at all. How far have I come to rely so heavily on a computer? I obviously don't as much as I think, because in reality, it wasn't that weird.

Anyway, party at my house this weekend. Sigh. I guess at least it's an excuse to get the house clean. And in many cases, it's the only time I get to see a lot of friends. It's on valentines day, although I don't know what that means. I have a soccer game Saturday night, and hopefully we can bang out a win, then drink (excessively) to it.

Not much else is new. Tilting that balance between work and play more to the work side.

My brother is coming to town this weekend, and there's a baby shower on Sunday. My parents are so excited to host like 30 people at their house. Go mom.

I tried downloading and watching a few different tv shows (the wire, entourage, the office, etc.), and I just don't like tv. I guess that's good. I'm really happy that I have thursdays where I can go "OMG, it's thursday, I have soccer practice tonight" rather than "OMG, it's monday, Gossip Girl is going to be so good tonight." You know? I mean, all for routines, but the evening 1hr trendy tv show phenomenon strikes me as somewhere I never want to be.

Well, there it is. Another week is flying by. Where are the days/weeks/months going? I need to be in a place (figurative, maybe literal too) by the time school ends for my roommates. They are not sticking around, and I need to have a set of things figured out by then. Maybe I'll make that list soon.

One of my favorite lines in any song is about time. It's in a song by bad religion, who can hardly be credited with insightful song writing. Oh well.

'What's time but a thing to kill or keep or buy or lose or live in?
I gotta go faster'

The Stone

Ahhh Friday.

I'm pretty happy with how my week went, although I could have worked a little harder. Oh well.

I want to mention that Courtlan is leaving town again, possibly for 4-6 months. I haven't hung out with him as much as the last few months. Although we've been friends since high school, I never really got to know him until a little while ago. Anyway, he's off again to go fishing, and things are going to be a little different around here without him. Obviously, as we probably hang out 5 days a week.

Speaking of things changing, I had an interesting soccer practice last night. It was indoor, and we practiced with the U-21's. I played against 18-20 year old's for a few hours, and basically got taken to school. It was honestly a little depressing. I used to be that guy. I realize that I'm not that far removed, but I am removed, and now I'm one of those guys that I used to enjoy playing against. I mean, over two hours, I took my chances well. I just was in marvel of the skill level of the younger guys, and I couldn't help thinking, "that was me not so long ago". Oh well. I'm not a real big dweller. I get back to it on Sunday, and I'm excited about it.

Work, play, work, play. I can't say I have the best balance right now, but it isn't bad.

Have a good weekend if you have one.

'Don't say it doesn't matter - matter anymore.'